If Superwoman were a working mom, she’d probably look a bit like this: Rock star mom. Dependable worker. Loving spouse. Fun friend. Reliable sister. Concerned citizen. Watchful neighbor. Financial planner. Travel-agent. Committed yogi… (the list of roles she’d fill could go on and on.)
She would be expected to be present with her kids. She’d be expected to be at work on time. To prioritize family meals. To visit her aging grandparents. To go on dates with her spouse. To set up play dates for her children. To taxi them to swim, gymnastics, music and soccer…
Do you see where I am going here? Can you relate to this picture of “Superwoman”?
Well let me just put it out there…YOU ARE NOT SUPERWOMAN. In fact, women that try and fill all these roles and live up to these expectations are exhausted, burned-out, unhappy, lost, overwhelmed AND FULL OF GUILT. This isn’t the life they signed up for and they question if they even want it. When the pitter patter of their kids feet approach, rather than excitement they feel exhaustion. When the loving hand of their spouse touches their shoulder, they repel rather than invite. When the final few minutes of their day is quiet, they check out with technology rather than check in to life.
I’ll admit, Superwoman is pretty bad-ass and I wouldn’t mind having a few of her traits but she was “super” human. Enhanced in “superness” so that she could go out and save the world! But that is not your purpose, %FIRSTNAME%. You were not put here on this earth to save it. You were put here on this earth to be the best possible you. To “change” the world by being the best mom, worker and human you can be. And when we fill too many roles and try to live up to too many expectations, we are not able to live into our best-self. Heck, we probably don’t even know what that means.
So go ahead, admit it. You are not superwoman. In fact, I want you to say it aloud five times, right now.
I am not superwoman.
I am not superwoman.
I am not superwoman.
I am not superwoman.
I am not superwoman.
How does that feel? A bit better? It should, because when we admit the truth, are brains start to relax. They stop feeling like they have to try so hard and they “rest” in what they know to be true.
What is the truth? If honesty is the best policy, then it is probably time for you to be honest with yourself. Let me start a list for you. Here is what I know to be true about you:
You are doing the best you can.
You love your kids deeply.
Your kids are learning something from watching you work.
Your kids see that it is ok to not be perfect.
Your kids are learning that balancing life means putting up limits when needed.
Family and work are important and deserve your best self.
I can go on and on. But, you need to pick up where I have left off. What do you know to be true right now? How are you feeling? What are your kids learning? Name it and then claim it.
Admitting your humanness and acknowledging where you are at is the first step to letting go of mom guilt and reclaiming your confidence.
Need some more tips and encouragement? Join me and other working moms by registering at my upcoming lunchtime workshop, Ditch Working Mom Guilt Forever being held on Monday, July 8th @ 10:30 a.m. (PST).
