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Building off of last week’s episode on growing your confidence, in today’s podcast I am giving you access to the first day of a 4-day training I offered called 3 Confidence Building Strategies for Working Moms. In day 1 of the training I give an overview of why so many working moms feel a dip in confidence after they become moms and give you the do’s and don’ts of trying to regain it.
Topics in this episode:
What are the tell-tell signs you are experiencing a dip in confidence
What are the 4 common strategies to regain confidence that do not work
Why magically gaining back a few hours in your day won’t help you grow your confidence
A simple way to think of confidence that will set you up for success
3 simple strategies to help increase confidence and control
Show Notes & Resources:
https://www.ambitiousandbalancedcollective.com/confidence-free-training
Want to speak to me directly about how to regain your confidence as a working mom? Then apply for a free breakthrough call by clicking here: www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/book
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Transcript
Intro
Welcome to the ambitious and balanced working mom podcast, the place for women who want to balance their ambitious career goals with their life as a mom. If you’re looking to feel more confident, decisive, and productive at both work and home then this is the place for you. I’m your host Rebecca Olson, let’s get to it!
Hey working moms hope you are doing amazing on this Monday! I received a lot of good feedback about last week's podcast on the number one strategy to increase your confidence. Writing that podcast and getting the feedback and talking to working moms about confidence led me to create a 4-day training that I titled 3 confidence-building strategies for working moms. It's only available to those that are on my email list, but I felt like the training was so helpful to those that were watching it and I really get into the nitty-gritty on what it takes to increase your confidence that I thought it would be helpful to open it up to as many people as possible.
So, today's podcast is the audio that's pulled from day one of the training. Now, because I originally did this as a video training you're going to hear the sound of some flipcharts being turned and the audio has a little bit of static here and there at the end, but I know that it is going to be super helpful. If you want to watch the video of this training and get access to all the videos where I break down each of the three strategies, then you can go to:
https://www.ambitiousandbalancedcollective.com/confidence-free-training
And put in your email address and I will get those sent off to you.
Now, for this training, I give an overview of the 3 strategies and dive deep into some of the tell-tell signs that you're experiencing a dip in confidence. I will explain why this is so common for working moms, what I see a lot of working moms trying to do to regain their confidence that is NOT working, and then ultimately talk through the solution to getting back on track where you feel like you are killing it at work and feeling amazing as a mom at home. YES! BOTH ARE POSSIBLE! Alright, enough said…let’s just dive right in!
Okay, working moms hello, Rebecca Olson here. I have a special treat for you. I'm going to be doing a four-day training, I'm going to be giving you an overview of what this training is. And then you're going to be getting some subsequent emails with videos in it over the next three days. And what we're focusing on is a topic that I hear from so many working moms around what happens to them, basically after they start having kids and it's this conversation around confidence and how so many working moms feel this dip in confidence once they become a mom. And so I want to be giving you three confidence-building strategies that we're going to give an overview of today and then I'm going to dive into in three separate videos.
This is a topic that I hear so often from working moms. This experience of losing their confidence and like it just went somewhere, right? It's a mystery somehow what happens to us when we become moms, and how we think about ourselves and our belief in self, and our ability to operate in the same way. It’s just not the same after we have kids. And basically, I get the ‘What do I do? How do I get back to operating at the same level I was before I had my kids?’
Indicators you have a lack of confidence.
We're going to cover three strategies today. Here are some of the indicators that you have a lack of confidence. And I've literally pulled these from conversations that I have had recently with working moms. So the first one is that you second guess a lot. And people use that phrase all the time with me. They second guess, or they sit in indecision. They just can't decide. And maybe that was actually a problem for you before kids came along. But now for sure, it is an immense problem where you cannot make up your mind. And even when you make up your mind, you don't ever feel good about it. And what I see a lot of working mums do because there are so many decisions to be made after you start having kids - like caring for another human brings on this onslaught of decisions that we have to make on behalf of our kids. And it feels like the stakes are a lot higher when we're making decisions for our kids than just with ourselves that we get into this place of having to get it right. So we get stuck here, we get stuck second-guessing, and we get stuck in research mode, and we get stuck in like, I'm going to just post to these five different mom groups here and see what everybody else has to say. And then we're going to try to find this magical feeling of confidence that I'm making the right decision for me and my child. And it's a big problem, it wastes a lot of energy.
Coming back from maternity leave and having to prove yourself to your employer.
Another indicator of lack of confidence is that women aren't speaking up. And they probably did before. But now they just feel so much timider. And I hear a lot from working moms that have come back from maternity, and they feel like they have to prove themselves on some level. They feel like they don't have the authority anymore, that they have been left behind in some way and so they don't speak up.
Another thing that happens that is an indicator of a lack of confidence is they don't accomplish at the same rate that they were accomplishing before they have kids, and they think that's a really big problem. So your ability to accomplish, your productivity, takes a really big dive.
Imposter syndrome.
Oh, a big one, you feel like an imposter. You feel like you shouldn't be where you are at any moment, somebody's going to find out that you're not actually as good as they think you are. And it's like one big hoax, everybody's gonna find out that you are an imposter. If that's something that's in your brain, then it's a really big indicator that you had a dip in confidence.
You're questioning yourself a lot. It feels like you're not good enough at all things and you are questioning your ability. I'm not showing up well enough. I'm not good at my job. I'm not enough. As a mom, ‘I'm not doing enough and I'm not spending enough time’, it’s this questioning, at a core level - ‘who am I?’ And ‘what am I doing here? I shouldn't be here.’ This internal dialogue is very negative.
Worrying or ruminating on the past or the future is a big one. So a big lack of confidence indicator is when you're worrying about something that's going to happen in the future, a future meeting, a future presentation, a conversation you have to have with your husband, or a co-worker or your boss or something like that, you're worrying about it and you can't get it out of your head.
I spoke with a mom today who said she has decided to quit this board that she sits on and she's been worrying about it and which is why she hasn't actually sent the email. So it's on her mind constantly taking up space. So that's one thing that some working moms are doing, they're ruminating on the past. They're thinking about a conversation they just had that was maybe a little bit tense, and they can't get rid of it or they're thinking about a project that they haven't finished and they get home and they can't drop it, or they're thinking about a presentation that didn't go the way that they wanted to go. Or they're thinking about things that have happened and they can't figure out how to let go. Both of those things are about letting go and releasing what's going on in your head.
Wasting time getting too prepared.
That's a big indicator of a lack of confidence - when you're worried and you're ruminating. Wasting time getting too prepared. This comes back to second-guessing. Getting prepared and that feeling of needing to be prepared 100% in order to feel like you're going to do well in a presentation, or in order to approach a meeting, or in order to make a decision - whatever it is that feeling of preparedness. Of course, we all need to prepare on some level. But for the most part, 70% is usually pretty good for preparation, the other 30% we just need to learn how to trust ourselves and our intuition and our gut and our knowledge and our skillset and our experience and all of those things. But if you're somebody that needs to go from 70% to 100% in order to really stand up in authority, that shows a lack of confidence.
You're last on the priority list.
That is for sure a lack of confidence when everybody else comes first, when your kid comes first, when your job comes first when everybody else's priorities and meetings come first and you're not able to shut the door to have time to yourself to finish your own projects. If you can't block out time for yourself on your calendar, either for personal reasons to go see the doctor or the dentist or just to get your own stuff done and accomplish your project, because everybody else needs something from you and you feel you always have to be available to them. Then you are last on the priority list. And that is for sure. An indicator of a lack of confidence.
A general feeling of failure.
Feeling as if you are failing as a mom, and failing at work, failing in your marriage, whatever it may be.
You crave validation.
You need somebody else to tell you that you're doing well or you need to hear from them that you're on the right track.
You can't move forward.
The big deep questions, who am I? What do I want? And there's the sense of quiet, that comes back up to question yourself, right? And never feeling enough. You can't answer any questions about who you are, where you're going in life and what it's all about. That really shows a lack of confidence as well.
The settling.
And then the last one here, the push-through mentality I like to call it or the settling. This is when you think, well, as soon as this project is over, or as soon as my kid starts sleeping through the night, or as soon as I get a new boss, or as soon as I change jobs, or as soon as I get through this month, or as soon as we get to that vacation, that it's going to be better on the other side or something. And you're constantly pushing yourself in order to get to that point. But of course, you get to that point, and it doesn't usually all subside. And there's just another thing that's pushed further out and your brain goes well maybe when we get there.
I wanted to give you a sense of what a lot of working moms talk about because my guess is you probably resonate with some of these, we can all resonate with some of these, and I want you to know that you're not alone. So many working moms experience this after they have kids. And of course, some are present before we have kids and then it just magnifies after kids. But these are really really good indicators that there's been this dip of confidence, and for sure this training and the 3 strategies I'm going to give you are going to really help with all of these different behaviors and things that are going on for you.
Here is NOT the solution to fixing these things. This is what is NOT going to work if you're trying to rebuild or regain your confidence in some way.
Gaining back more time.
This is the biggest thing that I hear from working moms all the time. If I just had more time, if I had more time to work and get more things done, or be more prepared, or spend more time with my kids. If we could just magically create more time in the day - this is for sure gonna make you more confident. Because so many working moms think that this is the solution, what they do is they work more, they allow themselves to log on after their kids go to sleep or they allow themselves to work on the weekends, or past the time that they want to work. They spend way too much time in preparation. They give themselves hours to prepare for things that shouldn't take that long. They never feel like the time that they spend with their kids is enough and so they are always constantly feeling guilty for that and thinking the fix is if I just had a little bit more time with them like that's going to work. More time is actually never going to be the solution to fixing all of these problems because it just causes you to do more and work more.
The second thing that is really not going to work when you're trying to gain confidence is looking for more support. Of course, we need support in our life. We need friends, we need family, we need an environment at work that is supportive, no question about it. But what I want to suggest to you is, it's not the solution to gaining confidence. Your boss, your company, your spouse, your family, whoever it is, they aren't the ones that are going to magically put this feeling of confidence within you. So changing jobs isn't going to be the solution, a new boss isn't going to be the solution, your spouse taking on more work around the house, it's not going to be the solution. For sure, sometimes those things would be helpful, or they would make your environment more pleasant, or enjoyable, but it's not going to allow you to be a better version of you and grow your confidence because that isn't really the problem here.
The other thing that's NOT the solution is to say yes more. I see this a lot from working moms. So when you're not feeling good about yourself, and you're not feeling confident, and you're not feeling adequate, as in your job, or whatever it is, what you do is you just start saying yes to more things in an effort to prove yourself to people. And so saying yes to more things, it's just gonna cause you to work more and need more time. And of course, overworking is not going to be the solution to gaining more confidence.
More me-time - that's not going to be a solution either. Although it's a really good thing to have, you need to be taking a little bit of time for yourself. But the me-time isn't going to magically make you feel more confident, it might make you more rested, it might clear your brain a little bit, but all of that will be very temporary. Even if you get this on a regular basis, it's not going to be the thing that's going to make you feel more confident. It will be a good thing, but for the most part, even if you get this in on a regular basis, that's not going to change all of this self-doubt and self-esteem issues that are going on inside of you.
And then of course, a solution is never to just wait. Like I said about the push through mentality, the settling and waiting until the next thing - that for sure is not going to magically create more confidence for you. You actually have to be doing something different and approaching things in life in a very different way if you're going to experience something different, right? So waiting it out and doing the same thing over and over and over again is certainly not going to get you where you want to go.
What is causing a lack of confidence in working moms?
Let's talk about what actually is causing a lack of confidence. It doesn't have to do with time, it doesn't have to do with your job. What it has to do with is that you haven't spent time resetting your priorities. Now, this is a really big one. Because what I see happen with so many working moms, is when we have babies, they take up an immense amount of energy, and time and mental space, right? Most of us do not have an immense amount of time, energy and mental space. So we don’t already have the space and then our kid comes along and we magically think somehow we're gonna continue to do everything that we were doing before. But really what happens is our capacity is only so much. And so some things start to fall to the wayside. And we scramble to try to see if we could pick up all of the different things and get all the plates spinning. But of course, we can't, because our capacity is only so much because this tiny human has just taken up a big chunk of it. And so plates are falling, and things aren't getting done. And we start to feel really bad about that. And we start telling ourselves, I should be able to do all of these things. I was able to do all of these things before and now I can't. But it was inevitable that if you didn't adjust life to let this little tiny human take up space, and allow them to take up space and you didn't consciously let some of those things go, it was inevitable that things were going to fall off and that your brain was going to freak out because of that.
What actually is happening is that you just haven't taken the time to do that. You haven't decided which priorities you're letting go of. You haven't decided which plates are okay to fall. You haven't made the conscious, very confident decision about that. Now is the time that you need to start setting some new priorities and deciding with a level of decisiveness, what it is you're going to do and what it is you're not going to do and what commitments are going to fall.
‘If you work more, you're going to be more successful’ is that really true?
This is another reason for a lack of confidence, the belief that success is very much tied to time. Now, we don't really notice this a whole lot before our kids come along, but because our kids take up an immense amount of our time, we realize afterward that our brain has this connection between success and time. So what I mean by that is, and we even have a society that values this on some level, if you work more, you're going to be more successful. That's what our brain likes to think if you put in more time, you will be more successful, right. And if you spend more time with your child, you're going to be a better mom. This is what is equated to us in our life. But what I like to offer to you is that success and time actually don't have anything to do with one another. You can ultimately decide what success really means for you and make it not mean working more. You may have never challenged your brain on this, to think that you could actually accomplish more or accomplish at a different level in less time. And so you just continually think that you have to put in more time - but you don't have the time, because you have a tiny human, and they take up all of this energy and time and space. And so you feel like you're failing, and you feel this lack of confidence because everything is dropping, you don't have time and so the cycle starts over again.
Do you find your identity in your job?
Another big cause for lack of confidence is your identity being found in your job. Now, before kids, if you want to, you could work as many hours as you wanted to work, and you could put in as much energy and thought that you wanted to put into your job, it's not necessarily a bad thing. But what happens is when you try to pull back from that, to give a little bit of space and priority to your family, your brain freaks out because so much of your identity is found in your job. And so your brain is going ‘what are you doing, you're pulling back...this is who you are, this is who you've been, we've dedicated the last decade-plus of our life to this...you can't do this.’ And your brain starts to freak out and you start to be very confused about what am I doing, and this is who I am. There's a lot of confusion that comes when your identity is found in your job. So if you want to be able to create space, and prioritize your family, you're going to have to be able to pull back from work on some level, you're going to have to reprioritize the way you do work and we can't have your brain freaking out when you do that because it's causing a lack of confidence. You'll be last on the priority list for sure, causing a lack of confidence. Because here's what I hear from working moms, it's their work first. I know that's really hard to admit. But in reality, work is first because that's where so much of their time and energy comes in. Family comes next. Maybe their marriage after that. And then maybe themselves. I know there's an argument that says, you want your kids to come first. But in reality, for so many ambitious working moms, that just isn't the way our life is oriented. Our work actually comes first. What I want to suggest to you is that your work nor your kids should be first of all, because what that is causing you to do is it's causing you to pour out all of your energy and your time, and your mental capacity and your space and your love for other people and other people's priorities and other things, and you're not filling yourself back up because there's nothing left over. Versus when you're first on the list and you are overflowing, you have an abundance to give out. You being last on the list is causing you to not have the healthy lifestyle that you want. It is causing you to overwork and say yes to too many things which is causing a lack of confidence.
And the last one here, listening to your main brain is causing a lack of confidence. We all have two parts of our brain, we have a mean one and we have a nice one.
We don’t want to eliminate the mean brain, we just don't want to listen to it as much. We want to start tuning into that very soft whisper that is actually telling you that you're good enough and that you're a good mom and that you're doing a great job and that you're adequate and that you are worth it and that you're valuable. Right now, likely dominantly you have the mean part of your brain that's telling you, you're not doing it right you're gonna get it wrong, you're failing everyone, you're not spending enough time and so forth. Your brain is kind of freaking out and you're feeling this lack of confidence because you're listening to her so much that it's causing a lack of confidence.
Alright, so this is what I see is actually happening right now for working moms. This is what is causing the lack of confidence.
Confidence is a deep trust in something or someone.
We're gonna get into the 3 strategies here in a moment that's going to solve this. But what I want to offer to you is what the definition of confidence is to begin with because so many working moms don't actually know, it's kind of mysterious to them what this confidence thing even is. But if you look it up in the dictionary, what confidence means, essentially, is it means deep trust in something or someone. If you're confident in something, you have a deep trust in someone or something. If we're talking about growing your confidence, what we're talking about is deepening your self-trust, deepening a sense of trust in yourself.
And really what trust is, is belief. So when we're talking about confidence, we're talking about increasing your belief in yourself or your self-belief. That can sound like a lot of work like it means expertise, and always getting it right. But of course, that is not what it means. Being an expert means that you have an immense amount of knowledge and skill in one particular area and that you depend on that knowledge and skill in order to make decisions and do everything that you do - that's an expert. That's not somebody that's confident. You could be an expert at something and have all of the knowledge and skills and not be a confident person, and not really believe in yourself. Because knowledge and skill set is not what creates a belief in self.
So the 3 strategies I'm about to talk about, and then we're going to dive deep into here, it's all about building up this self-belief, because that is our goal. Our goal here is to increase your self-belief. Alright, so let's talk about it. Here are the 3 strategies for increasing your self-belief.
Number one, you have to know your human value. So here's what I mean by this, you have two types of value, you have your accomplished value, all of you know exactly what that is - that's your success in life, it's your ability to accomplish, to achieve, it's your driver self. It's the go-getter in you. That is called your accomplished value. If you were to gather all of that you've accomplished in your life together, that's what it is, it is not your human value.
What is your human value?
Now your human value is essentially who you are at the core. And why you're just simply valuable as a human has nothing to do with what you've been, or whatever you've done, or the success that you've had, or what achievements you've had in your life - your human value never leaves you. You were born with it essentially. And so knowing your human value is really important when we're talking about increasing your self-belief. Because essentially, what you're doing is you're telling your brain that I'm valuable, no matter what I do with my job, I am worthy, no matter what happens to me at my work, whether I succeed at this, or I don't succeed at this, I as a person have value, I walk into a room and I bring life to that room, no matter what room that is. If you believe that at the core, and your brain starts to really believe that, what you're able to do is you're able to make some changes with the way you operate within your career, or you're able to even change careers altogether, whatever it is you may want to do to start operating in a different way where you start accomplishing more, in less time, in order to do that, you're gonna have to make some changes in your work life. And the only way you're going to be able to do that is if your brain isn't freaking out because your identity is so wrapped up in your job - as we were talking about before. And the way to do that is if you start offering to your brain that you have something to offer other than your job. And so knowing your human value and really building a foundation for that is a big part of building up your self-belief.
The second strategy we're going to be talking about is deciding new priorities, or values or goals, or self-concepts. So what I mean by self-concept is it's the concepts that you have about yourself. So when I work with my clients, we talk about who they are as a human, we talk about the concepts they have about themselves as a mom, the concepts they have about themselves as a worker, we start to just define for them, like what does it mean to be successful? What does it mean to be a successful human? What does it mean to be a successful mom? What does it mean to be successful in your job? You start to actually define these things and get clear and decide for yourself what concepts you want to live by. So what this is doing is it's creating direction for your brain. Because what I see a lot of working moms do is they plan their life up till this moment. It's like, I'm gonna go all into my career, I'm going to get married, and I'm going to have kids. And now what do I do? What's going on now in my life? I have this tiny human that I love deeply and I want to spend an immense amount of time and energy on, and I have this career that I love. And I don't know how these two things come together. You can feel very directionless, and your brain starts to freak out because your brain needs to know what the plan is and where you are headed in life. but when your brain feels clear, and it feels like it has direction, you have something to measure all of your decisions by and what your priorities are, what your goals are, what you value, what's most important to you. And so you can start to live by that and feel really confident about the reasons that you're doing that.
Confidence is an internal thing going on inside of you
The third strategy here for increasing your self-belief is select. I like to call this your selective hearing. I was talking about how everybody has a mean voice and a nice kinder voice, and we all have these two voices. And what you want to be tuning into is the more positive one, so that you develop this positive internal dialogue. Because if you're constantly listening to the negative voice - imagine you as a parent, talking to your child and constantly saying; ‘you're not good enough, you didn't do well enough, you should have done more, you could have accomplished more, you didn't you didn't show up in the way you should have, you're behind, you're failing,’ imagine you telling that to your child? And what would they do? They would be anxious, and have a lack of confidence, and be really uncertain. So we want to have some selective hearing, and learn how to listen to the more positive voice that is also talking to you at the same time as the mean voice. When we do that the reason why that increases is because the good voice is the one that's focusing on progress, the one that's the kind of mom that you are, the good things that you have. And when you're getting that sort of validation from your brain on a day in, day out, minute by minute, hour by hour, of course, that's going to make you feel good. Imagine, you had a review with your boss. And it was a really amazing review. And they told you all of these amazing things about you. And that feeling that you have when you walk out and you feel so proud, and you feel so good. And you're like I did it and I'm so good. And I'm so great. Imagine that feeling all of the time. Of course, it's not going to happen exactly like that, but I want to give you a sense of that confidence when you walk out, because you've heard all these great things about you - you can cultivate that voice within you, that's going to help grow your confidence. The reason why that really works is because confidence, as I said is self-belief, self belief is something that's happening inside of you, it's an internal experience, confidence is an internal thing going on inside of you, it doesn't have anything to do with your job or the time that you have, or you don't have. It doesn't have to do with your boss, it doesn't have to do with your spouse, it doesn't have to do with your circumstances at all. They don't dictate what you believe about yourself. YOU dictate what you believe about yourself. And so in these strategies, what we're focusing on is what you can control going on inside of you. The way you think about yourself, the goals and the values that you have in your life, and then ultimately your thoughts.
So here's what we're gonna do, let me give you a little frame here. You're going to be receiving 3 emails, each with a video that's going to dive deep into each of these 3 beliefs. So I just wanted to give you an overview here today on why I'm talking about this and what it is that we're going to be talking about over the next 3 days so that you can get prepared. But essentially, what you're going to get is three videos that are going to break each of these down in a much more tangible way so that you can really begin to internalize and process each of these strategies and walk away feeling like you have a game plan on how you can act and increase your confidence. My goal here is to make this as valuable as possible in as short a period of time as I can.
Here is why you should be doing this work - the return on investment of time. By you sitting and watching these trainings and spending time working on your self-confidence, the return on investment of time is this - (I hear this from my clients all the time and took this directly from them) When you're feeling more confident, you are more willing to say no, you're willing to actually walk out of the office at five o'clock or whatever time you decide and not log back on at the end of the day, you contain work within the time that you contain work because you feel so clear around what your priorities are. And you feel so confident that you can say no, and you're still a good worker, and you're still committed and people aren't going to think negatively about that. And so you begin to actually contain work in the times that you want to contain work. So basically, you stop overworking, you come home with energy and presence.
No more mom guilt.
We only spend around two hours, maybe three with our kids at the end of a workday so that time needs to be valuable. And for most of us, we still have to make dinner, we have to put dishes away, we have to maybe make lunches for the next day. There are all these other tasks that have to happen in those two to three hours that we spend with our kids. We want to be present, we want to make the most out of this time. And when you're feeling really confident when you're able to let go of your workday because you're not ruminating on all of the things and you're not worrying about what you're going to do tomorrow, you're actually very present with your family in the time spent with them. You begin to control your time and your commitments. And your schedule feels manageable and feels like it's something that you're in control of. You are feeling more confident because then you can say no more. And you're worried a lot less about what other people are thinking about you. No more mom guilt. This is such a huge one. Because when you're feeling really confident about yourself as a working mom, you know exactly why you're working, you feel really good about your job and the direction and you feel really good about your goals and the reason why you're doing all those things, all of a sudden, you don't feel guilty anymore for sending your kid away to daycare or to a nanny or whatever. Yes, you might feel sad because it's sometimes hard to be away from our kids but you don't feel guilty for it because the trade-off feels worth it. And so that guilt goes away.
Oh, the calm brain. I love this one. I have a client. Her name is Kathy and we like to call her brain a name when it's calm. We call it the calm Cathy brain or the frantic Cathy brain. Because when she has a calm brain what she describes it as being it feels very methodical, it feels like there's space and there's room to think it doesn't feel like everything is flying about like toys are flying all over the room or in this case, thoughts are like flying everywhere - it feels like you have a lot of control over what it is you're thinking. It's very methodical, it feels very calm, letting go of so many of the things that are going on inside of our brain. That is possible when you are confident. Essentially, when you begin to manage your thoughts and stop focusing on all of the negative ones.
To-do list @ zero.
Yes, that is a thing that is possible for you. I pretty much only live by three or four points on my to-do list at any given time. I don't have anything more on my to-do list at all, whether it's at home or work. I am very ruthless about what I decide to do and what I decide not to do. And when I decide to do it, for the most part, I commit to it and it goes on my calendar and doesn't go on a to-do list. And so I've learned how to be very clear about what is most important to me and what my priorities and my commitments are in my values, and where I want to spend my time and so I don't over-commit myself. And I make very clear plans for when I'm doing things like household work, and so forth. But I do that because I feel really good about myself. And I feel really good about what I accomplished during my days and I don't feel like I need to constantly do more or achieve more in order to feel better about myself.
And then lastly, you have a healthy lifestyle. You start making choices to put yourself first, working out, getting a good amount of sleep, eating healthy, taking that walk in the middle of the day, blocking out a lunch hour so you actually eat and not work through your lunch break. All the healthy lifestyle and the healthy rhythms that actually get you through your day in a much more positive and healthy way. You begin to prioritize that because you are at the top of the list because you're feeling really confident that when you do that, everybody else around you is going to benefit. You're going to be a better mom, you're going to be calmer, you're going to show up more focused, you're going to get to work, you're going to be more productive, and so forth. And you can only do that when you are feeling really confident about yourself. This is what is available to you as you follow the 3 strategies that we're going to be covering in this training series.
So I want to offer you 2 things. If you're listening to this, and you're like, for sure this has been the missing piece, I need to watch these videos. I need to learn how to do these 3 things. I need to learn how to increase my confidence in these 3 ways. You're resonating with what I'm saying, here's what I want you to do: I want you to get out a piece of paper and a pen right now. And I want you to write this question. Why is this training and prioritizing the next three videos, the most important thing I could be doing with my time? Why is prioritizing increasing my confidence the most important thing I can be doing with my time, more important than more time with your kids more important than being more productive at work and getting more done. More important, maybe, than even time with your spouse? Why is this the most important thing you can be doing? I want you to answer that question in as many ways as possible because what you're going to do is if that feels really clear to you, it feels very purposeful to you then you're more likely to do it. I don't want you to nod your head and go, this would be a really good training, I should really prioritize this, and then not do anything about it. I want you to actually do this work and to watch these trainings and follow what I'm saying, to take notes to answer the questions that I'm going to give you. So you can, in fact, increase your confidence. And the most effective way that you will show up for yourself to do that is if you believe it is more important than anything else that you can be doing. So I want you to write that question down.
The second thing I want to offer to you is if this is all resonating for you, this is the life that you want to be living, but you've been stuck in chaos for a long time, and you're not sure how to get out of it, and you've been feeling very lost and stuck in who you are, and what it is that you need to be doing, not just how to live a balanced life, but just what I want out of life and you feel the sense of a lack of confidence. This is the work that I do with all of my clients in coaching. And so if you're already resonating with this, and you would love to chat with me about how you can implement these things, then let's book a call. I offer a free breakthrough call, it's 60 minutes long. What we do in the call, we're going to talk about the challenges that you're experiencing right now. We're going to start brainstorming the solutions to those challenges. And then ultimately, we're just going to decide if coaching together really feels like the right next step for you. We're going to get really, really clear on that for you. I want this to be a very valuable hour. If you go to www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/book, you'll be directed to a form that will give me a little information about you. And then after that form, there will be a scheduling page where you can book 60 minutes on my calendar, and I've opened up a bunch of spaces over the next two weeks in order for us to do that. So if you're feeling like you already know I would love some support. I would love somebody to walk me through this process - then I encourage you to book that call right now.
Alright working moms, I cannot wait to help you increase your confidence and become an amazing working mom that I know you to be. Alright, let's get to it.
