YES and NO are likely the most powerful words on the planet.
In an instant these words can either bring in energy or suck it dry.
To say yes or no is a decision.
I like to think of this decision as the boundary that protects what is most precious to you.
The things you hold inside.
Your priorities, your energy, your beliefs about yourself, your values…
When you say yes or no to someone (or something) you are making a decision to either keep these precious things safe or to poke a hole and let them drain out.
The problem is that most decisions are made instantaneously and without much conscious thought.
For example, one of the most draining parenting moments is calming a screaming child (I know this intimately right now as my son is in his terrifying 3’s). We usually don’t stop to make a pro and con list for exactly how to deal with each melt-down…we simply REACT. It’s instantaneous.
But the way we react either drains us of energy or doesn’t. You either walk away from the moment feeling completely wiped out…or you don’t.
Dealing with a tantrum can be pretty intense, but most decisions that drain us, are not. They just slowly chip away at your energy and often go unnoticed.
The way you react to a text from a friend.
The replaying, in your head, of a conversation with your boss.
Scrolling mindlessly through social media.
Picking up the house instead of playing with your kids.
We often don’t even realize how draining these things can be until it’s too late.
But, there is a way to fortify your boundary (to essentially build it with rock, instead of sticks):
Decide ahead of time what you are protecting (your values, priorities, self-concept, etc…) and build awareness to what, when and how you make decisions that keep you from protecting them.
It takes time to build a wall. You have to lay the stones one by one, but once built your yes and no become easy.
You’ll start to make decisions that always honor what’s most important.
You’ll start to feel in control of your energy and your choices.
You’ll smile more.
Sleep better.
Feel immensely more purposeful and present.
I can teach you how.
