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Laura graduated from coaching a year ago and took everything she learned to finally leave a job that she no longer enjoyed to follow her dream. She shares about how pivotal naming her purpose was in the journey, how overcoming perfectionism was essential and what it took for her to invest in her future happiness. Laura highlights several coaching tools that were essential in her journey and names one particular practice that brought control and clarity.
Topics in this episode:
• How knowing your purpose brings clarity and changes the happiness game
• What you need to believe for success to be inevitable.
• How perfectionism is about being comfortable and how going after dreams is never comfortable.
• The importance of observing your thoughts but not always believing them
• A single practice that helps manifest life goals
Show Notes:
• Learn more about Laura’s work at https://www.redbarnwriter.com
• Join the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms Collective – This is a group coaching program for working moms looking to create the building blocks to work-life balance. The program teaches you a 5-step process, includes weekly group coaching and a private community of working moms all determined to create a balanced life. Find out more information here: www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/collective
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Transcription
Intro
This week's podcast is an interview with Laura Hardie, a past coaching client that recently left her full time job to follow a dream. When Laura first came to coaching, she felt lost and uncertain on what she wanted to do with her career, and how she could balance it with her family. But now, fueled with the purpose and clarity that came from coaching, Laura shares how she was able to finally overcome perfectionism and fear to pursue a passion. She shares all about her experience in coaching, and some of her favourite tools that she still uses today. You ready? Let's get to it.
Welcome to the ambitious and balanced working mom podcast, the place for women who want to balance their ambitious career goals with their life as a mom. If you’re looking to feel more confident, decisive, and productive at both work and home then this is the place for you. I’m your host Rebecca Olson, let’s get to it!
Rebecca: Well, I have a treat for everyone out there. Today, I have on my podcast, I have Laura here to chat with us. Laura was a client of mine, we were actually just talking about it. The first day we talked was March 17, and 2020, which was basically at least for me, and she says for her, the beginning of the shutdown in America. And so our entire coaching relationship came with this foundation, if you will, of chaos around us. And as she will describe there was a lot of internal chaos that was going around, not because of the pandemic, although of course, that added to it in the end. But I really wanted to bring her in here because she just has a great story about how she went on this journey to really discover what it is she wanted out of life, what it is she wanted out of a career, how she wanted to balance that with her family. And all of this has led up to, and resulted in recently her leaving her full-time job to start her dream copywriting business. And so I think she has so much to say, and I'm so excited that she's here. Thank you, Laura.
Laura: Thanks so much, Rebecca. I'm excited to get to chat with you again.
Rebecca: Yes, of course. Tell us a little bit about yourself, ever so briefly a little bit of a story about you so everybody can get to know you a little bit.
Laura’s story.
Laura: Yeah, sure. I have two kids. They are now two and five. And we live in Vermont. And in a rural area, I come from a background of farming, my extended family has a dairy farm, and I have been working in journalism and then marketing for over a decade, which has been great. I've worked for a coffee company. I've worked for a dairy company. And so I've really loved promoting the stories of farmers in marketing. And that's what I've done for my career until now.
Rebecca: Okay, so let's paint a little bit of a picture of where you were at when you first found me and found coaching and what you were looking for. And what led up to this moment of going after some help to figure some things out. Tell us a little bit about that.
Laura: I came into coaching because I was in a job that I no longer felt brought me joy. And then I felt at the same time I was missing my kids’ childhood, which was a double whammy. So because I wasn't happy in my job, I had this short fuse at home and I found myself lashing out at my husband or my kids. My job was really emotionally taxing. And for me, it showed up in anger because I had nothing left emotionally once I got home. And I knew something had to change.
And like I said I was in marketing and communications for dairy farmers at the time. I traveled a lot before the pandemic to farms and meetings and I was constantly tethered to my email because I was expected to be on call to respond any time of day for public relations issues or concerns. And then in addition to that, as I come from this long farm family history, I was deeply connected emotionally to my job and I felt like I couldn't leave. And then on top of that the dairy industry was in this negative spiral and it still is with a lot of farms going out of business.
Feeling like she can’t walk away from her job and stability.
So I felt their stress regularly and I was honored that they could open up to me but I was taking it all on and internalizing all of this from work, it was taking such a toll on me, but I had this guilt about leaving, like, I can't walk away from them from my job from the stability. But I knew I had to do something different for myself and my family. And I just remember on the breakthrough call, I was in tears with you, because you said it sounded like I was in the passenger seat of my life. And that my job or the dairy industry at the time was driving, and I just knew it couldn't be that way anymore. I needed to take the wheel. So I reached out to you as a first step, because I felt so lost, I didn't even know where to start. I had an idea that I wanted to work for myself, but I didn't have the self confidence or the courage to really name that and go for it on my own.
Rebecca: It's a really hard space for you to be in. But I love just the way you describe the tension between expectations of work and expectations of a family and mom life because that tension is so real for working moms. And the expectations, they come from our expectations of us. Usually, ultimately, obviously, there's job responsibilities, like you got to be on call and things like that, but expectations of needing to be available, expectations of how you're supposed to support, expectations of response time, expectations of how you're how you're supposed to serve, and you have all of these expectations at work. And then you have these expectations of what you want mom life to be like and how you should be available for your kids and how long that should be. And then there's this tension between what it means to be good at both of these things at the same time. And when you came to me you were like I'm not good at any of this, I'm failing across the board at all things. And that's just such a relatable space to be in. I just love how you describe that.
Laura: Yeah, I felt like I wasn't really fully present for either. And it was not a space I wanted to stay in.
Rebecca: And a lot of that, in the initial free breakthrough call that we had, you were talking about this business idea that you had. And you're even partially in the beginning of that process of going down this path a little bit and trying to sort it out. But the ‘lostness’ that you described of I'm feeling all of this tension, and I don't exactly I feel like I'm in the right space, and not being in the right career, and not feeling really committed to the job that you were in and not enjoying it anymore - Tell us about how you think that contributed to the tension you were feeling and the stress and everything.
If the job doesn't align with your purpose, it will feel like a burden.
Laura: Yeah, so it made the time that I was spending away from my family feel even more difficult because it wasn't necessary to live out my purpose, or to contribute to the world in the way that I felt was my calling. It was as if I was sacrificing this time for something that I wasn't necessarily called to do. And I have this dream, like we've talked about so many times, to be there for my daughter when she gets off the school bus at three o'clock, and not just be there, as in like, be there and start working again. But be there and do something with her. Be present and not just be there and go back to checking my email. And so I felt like in my job that I was currently in, there was no room for that. There was no flexibility for that. And so it was something I needed to choose in order to have that ability. And I also really wanted to be involved in my community, again, something I did a long time ago when I didn't have kids, I was always volunteering and giving back. And after I had kids, there was no time for that. Because it was all going to my job, and then the kids. So it felt like there must be something else. There must be something else that allows us to live our lives in a way that we feel fulfilled. And not that we're giving all of ourselves to one thing, which is mostly our jobs, right?
Rebecca: Yeah, we spend half of our awake time at work. And if that job is not fulfilling, if that job is not a place that you want to be at, if you get up every single day and you resent going into work, it just makes not being with your kids even more hard, right? Because sometimes, a lot of people, a lot of women have to make that trade-off, right? It's like, I can't be home with my kids at three o'clock when they get off the bus, even if I want to, I can't because the job isn't gonna allow me. But over here the job is so connected to what I'm doing. And I'm so committed to what I'm doing. I love my career, it's like you can make that trade-off. But, if you don't like what you're doing all of a sudden that trade-off doesn't make sense at all. And it builds up this resentment and it builds up the stress and, and it just adds up to the way we see ourselves as moms and the unfulfillment and so forth. And it all seems to be coming together for you at that moment.
Laura: Right, exactly, exactly.
Rebecca: So what we know now is that this journey that was a year and a half ago, it resulted in you now leaving that full-time job and going all in to your business. That isn't, of course, the journey that every working mom is going to go through that is feeling that tension and feeling that loss, to find fulfillment in their career and so forth. That's not going to be what everybody goes through. But, what you have pinpointed is a couple of really important lessons that came from the journey of searching out what was next for you, and really diving deep into yourself to do some of the self-discovery work that we've done in coaching. And it all resulted in this business. But for some people, it's going to result in something else. I would love to talk a little bit about some of these key lessons that came out of this time. And the first one that I have written down is that, discovering your purpose, and when you discover your purpose, it brings clarity. Can you talk a little bit about the connection between purpose and clarity for you? And what happened there?
We all have a purpose in life.
Laura: Yes, that is my absolute biggest takeaway, when I think about my time with you, and I still think about it almost daily. So we all have a purpose, and to deny that is to deny the world our gifts, and yet it can feel so difficult to find and so elusive. And I spent decades trying to clearly define my purpose before we worked together. I've kept a journal for as long as I can remember. And I picked it up as I was reflecting on this topic. Over 10 years ago, I wrote “I feel purposeless.” I know I have a purpose, but I can't see it. I want to do something meaningful with my life. I knew my writing was strong. And I knew I had the ability to connect with people with my words. Yeah, it took me 10 years to be able to confidently say that my purpose is to shine a spotlight on the stories that need to be told in the world. And 10 years to have that confidence, and start my own business doing what I know I'm good at. And I feel invincible. Now with that little sentence in my pocket, I can move through the world with ease, with my strengths being my purpose that you helped me, right, and the knowledge that I'm living my purpose to be of service to others. I don't have to question myself anymore. I don't have to wonder, am I doing the right thing? Should I be doing this? Should I go back to school to be a teacher? Should I do this instead? No, I know what I'm doing. Because it's so connected to me, and my purpose. I know that I'm on the right track, and I can feel good about that. It takes a lot of self-doubt away.
Your purpose has nothing to do with your job.
Rebecca: I actually just recorded the podcast before this one and it is all about purpose. So I love that this is coming out after that because it's another great illustration of purpose. Because there are two things that I want to say; one is the process of discovering your purpose. And the way that I walk all of my clients through is not about your perfect job, right? Like your purpose really has nothing to do with your job at all. When we talk about your purpose, we talk about why you were meant to be on this earth in a way that is much more general. So that almost any job you decide to take, you can find purpose in it. You can connect yourself and who you were made to be into that job. And that allows for so much more freedom and flexibility to not be wandering out there going, what's the perfect job that matches this? It's like no, actually, me just being me and showing up the way that I show up has a lot of purpose and I can find that in almost anything I do. I’m curious, it was almost a year after we stopped working together that you left your job, what changed for you even in the job that you didn't want to be in when you discovered your purpose?
Laura: That's a really good question. So because I realized, like I said, my purpose is really storytelling and shining a spotlight on stories, I began to seek that type of work out at my job more. I would volunteer to take on assignments that involve interviewing farmers and writing opinion pieces from their point of view, or writing blogs. I was signing up for that a little bit more than I had before. And I also very intentionally did it with joy. Because I felt when I was doing it, I felt so connected to it, because I was like, oh, this is so aligned with my purpose. And this is why I really liked this so much.
Rebecca: I love that. I do remember you taking on assignments, and seeking them out and pitching ideas like ‘this is my greatest skill set, this is the greatest asset that I could provide this company’, while I'm here, let me just find an opportunity. And for some women, that might be it for them. All sorts of things can change when you find that connection and meaning in the current job in a way that you didn't before when you start to define and get clarity around what you're meant to do and why you're meant to do it, and how you can connect that into your current job. I love that, and I had the same experience. When I went through a process of discovering purpose, it was all about helping people go deeper. And when I was able to really name that, I started to seek out relationships with my colleagues in a very different way. I started to show up for them, I started to show up as a leader and for our team in a much different way that was so much more fulfilling, because it was like, Oh, yeah, this is what I meant to do. I know I'm not meant to be in this job forever, but while I'm here, I can find so much more joy in me being me and doing what I do best and seeking out opportunities. I love that. The second thing that you have talked about is coming from this, this internal coaching journey was that success is inevitable. Tell us a bit about that. And what you mean by that.
Success is inevitable.
Laura: One of the things that has really helped me along the way is working my way out of fear. I had a ton of fear going into this, I would let my mind spiral into all sorts of dialogues. What if my business fails? Maybe I shouldn't do this. What if this isn't right for me? What if people think that everything I read is garbage, and you helped me realize that my brain is almost like a separate entity for me, that's wired to keep me safe and comfortable. And these thoughts that I have, I can observe them and choose a different way to think. And so for me, I've loved affirmations for a long time. And affirmations like success is inevitable, have really helped me to rewire my brain to limit or reduce or even just notice and dismiss some of those self-doubt thoughts, and replace them with some really positive thoughts that helped me feel strong and confident and that I am doing the right thing. And a couple of my favorites that you helped me with and that are sort of just ingrained into my psyche now is - success is inevitable, this is meant to happen and the conditions are perfect. And that one I really like because it’s a really good one.
Our brain spotlights our fears.
Rebecca: Yeah, the conditions are perfect. It's everything, success is ripe for this moment. I don't have to go out and do anything or be anything more. Right now conditions are perfect for happiness, for balance for you know, whatever it is that we want out of life. That's such a great thought. I love it. I'm gonna steal it for sure. But I remember as we were really talking about some of this self-doubt, and one of the greatest questions that I offer to my clients is, ‘do you think that's really true?’ So you would say something like, I think people aren't gonna like my work or I don't know if people are going to connect with the way I write and I'd go, that's interesting. Do you think that's really true? And you'd go well, so far, no. So far it seems to have worked out. And then we would just start talking about, so what's the evidence for why you think this is? This is going to actually work for you? What's the evidence that you are a good writer? What's the evidence that you can go out and do big things? It's not as if you don't know that information, it's just that your brain isn't focusing on it. It's like, your brain can only spotlight so much information at any given time, and it's wired to want to spotlight all of the fears, and all of the potential pitfalls and all of the potential failures, because it just wants to keep you nice and safe. But we can remove the spotlight, or we can just look at this from this perspective over here, that's also available to you to look at. Does that help you? Is that more motivating to you? Is that more useful? And then we can dissect it from there. And I love that it has become so ingrained in you, talking to you now, a year later, you can get there on your own now that you've learned that tool, that's so awesome.
Laura: Yeah, it's similar to meditation, almost where you're noticing your thoughts, and you don't have to get wrapped up in them. And then taking it a step further, that you can choose a different way to go.
Rebecca: Right, you have some agency over your thoughts. Now that you get to that you can choose the ones that are most useful to you, I like to say that you can think 100 different things about the same scenario. And none of them are right or wrong. There's just 100 different perspectives, you can have the same exact moment you can think about your life, you can think about your job in 100 different ways right now, some of those thoughts are useful to you, and they're going to make you feel good, they're going to move you forward, they're going to make you feel balanced. And some of those thoughts are gonna make you feel like crap, they're gonna make you feel like you're in the wrong place, and they're going to demotivate you. So it's not as if any of them are right or wrong. It's just which thought is going to be more useful to you to get you to the goal in the end. Okay, your third one, I love this one, because so many working moms get wrapped up in this one, which is that perfectionism doesn't serve anyone. Talk to us about perfectionism and the journey through perfectionism on some level, and your relationship to it now.
Progress over perfectionism or progress over perfect.
Laura: So I honestly, when you said that, the first thing that comes to mind is when I was trying to launch my business, and I had fully made the choice, and I was really stuck, because I insisted that I needed to have a website. And it needed to be perfect. And I could not reach out to any clients until I had this perfect website. And we have this long discussion. And it turns out that I really didn't need the website. But the website was my crutch. And I think perfectionism does that to us, where we feel like we have to have all these things in order, and they need to all be perfect and in the right order before we can do what we want to do. And really at the end of the day, it holds you back from achieving what you want to achieve. And there's a saying now that you'll often hear: progress over perfectionism or progress over perfect. And I think about that a lot. Now, when I'm doing something, I'd rather dive in and start and learn and do it versus holding myself back and never taking that leap because I feel like everything I need to do needs to be perfect. And the website was a big part of that. I don't think I've really gained a tonne of clients from my website, it’s just a front door. I gained the two clients I have through networking. So I didn't need my website.
Rebecca: Of course you didn’t. And I told you that of course over and over again.
Laura: I didn't believe you.
Start that thing and don’t wait for the perfect time when you’re ready. Ready is NOW.
Rebecca: Because your brain and so many of our brains rely on our circumstances to be just right in order for us to be able to move forward, in order for us to be happy, in order for us to take a leap of some kind or to make a change. So in this case for you as a business owner, it was like oh no, I gotta have my website and I need to have my business cards and I need to have finished this training and I have to do all of these things. And for other working moms it might just be having their house in a certain order and needing to have certain structures in place. Or they have to have their financials in a certain place and in order to invest and to make change in their life when we're talking about investing in coaching. We feel like we need all of these things to be in place. And the only reason we do is because it makes us feel nice and comfortable, right? In reality, we could do a lot with all of our circumstances feeling very messy. And in fact, we get to our end result faster when we just start sooner and our circumstances aren't in total alignment. Or when my toddler gets a little bit bigger, and we stop having tantrums or when we get them into school, and then I don't have to deal with all these childcare issues. Righ? It's always this push in the future, like when all this happens then I can have the life that I want, then I can feel balanced, right?
Laura: Yeah. It's hard to take that leap when it feels messy. You don't want to regret not doing it. You don't ever look back and say, Oh, I wish I had done that, then I'd be so far. So much farther ahead. Live your life when you can, because nothing's certain.
Rebecca: So good. Yeah, I love it. It's a big part of the journey I take a lot of my clients through when they join the collective, we talk about creating balance in your life. And one of the things that holds us back is perfectionism, and how do you move past that, and gain the willingness to just move forward, despite not knowing. All it is is fear - it’s the only thing that really holds us back, we think our circumstances need to be in order. So we have less fear, and then it'll be easier to move forward. But that fear is kind of always there, like I remember for you, we had the conversation a year ago about leaving, right as our relationship, our coaching time came to a close. And then we had the conversation like two months later. And then another conversation two months later - I kept checking in on you. And you kept on saying, well, when this gets right, then I will. When you could have started your business, like almost a year ago! Like you could have been all into your business almost a year ago. And here you are now. So there's nothing to sit back and regret or anything like that. But it just goes to show how a year ago, you could have been in this place that you’re in right now.
Laura: Yeah, 100%. And it's these lifelong habits that we've built up. And it took a lot of courage., and it took a lot of time for me to really wrap my head around taking that risk and living out what I wanted to do. And it's been fully worth it. And I wouldn't change any of it. I think that extra time I had let me sort of test out my business and make sure and it was almost like I wanted to give it a test drive. And I did and then I felt comfortable. So yeah, I definitely had that.
Moving through discomfort to reach our goals.
Rebecca: But even then, I would be curious, do you really feel more comfortable than you would have felt nine months ago? Does discomfort go completely away? Like when you decided to leave your job? I have a feeling though, because we talked literally the day that you talked to your boss, we were messaging about it, and you were so scared and fearful, even in that moment.
Laura: For sure. Yeah, definitely. I think it's one of those things that fear will always be there. And I guess it's just how much control you let it have. There's merit in all of our choices.
The goal is not to get rid of fear, because it will always be present.
Rebecca: That's really important to hear, fear will always be there. The goal is not to get rid of fear, because it will always be present. What you feared the day you finally said something to your boss might have been different than the fears you had nine months ago or a year ago. And you know, when you were potentially talking about it then but regardless, there was fear, like you were never going to eliminate fear that can never be the goal.
Laura: Yeah, it's just how I respond to that and how I feel about my choices going forward. And I think having my values and my purpose and my identity so clearly defined. It really helps me to feel like okay, we can work past those thoughts. Like you're doing the right thing. Just keep moving.
Rebecca: Yeah, for sure. I love that we just got on the subject of fear, because that was your fourth point that I wanted to bring up, which was that fear is something to observe. That's the way you wrote it. And that's what we're talking about here. And I love that you brought it back to your purpose because for sure, that's the reason why I take all of my clients through a process of understanding your values, understanding your purpose, understanding your identity, like really having this language about you so that when fear comes up, you have something to work with, to link back to that you can say, well, I see that fear. And I also know this about myself. And I've already decided, I've already discovered and know and feel very clear and confident about who I am over here. And so it starts to help you, like dampen the fear a little bit and give you a sense of certainty that you're still on the right path, and that you're still moving forward. And it's still a good choice despite the fear. So it gives you some fuel, if you will. Which is what it sounds like it did for you too.
Laura: Yeah I learned so much about myself working with you, you helped me see that I liked to sit in a place of indecision, and I have a pattern of getting stuck there kind of paralyzed. I don't like to pull the trigger. And one exercise I'll never forget is when you had me answer, where I was on a scale of 1 to 10 on starting my business. And I think I said I was a six and you had me list out like everything that got me to a six. And then you had me list out everything that would get me to a 10. And it turns out what I needed was just to lay that all out. And one thing that got me to a 10 was writing down all the reasons why I needed to leave my job so I was clear about it. And then I looked at why my values and my beliefs are so better for my new business. And I can't tell you how many times I reopened my notebook to look at that list of reasons.
Let’s normalize fear and get comfy with it.
Rebecca: We did, we really pinpointed that you have this habit of indecision. And really all that's happening is your brain wants to stay in indecision because it has this fear. And it thinks that the fear means that maybe you're doing it wrong, or maybe you're going to fail and so forth, which is why we had to do so much of this work to see the habit and say, the fear is actually always going to be there and let's try to normalize fear and be a lot cozier with it. I like to get my clients cozy with fear. In particular the fear of failing because it holds us back so much. I love that you made that connection between indecision and fear. And now, how do you feel right now? How far have you come in your indecision? Do you sit in indecision in the same way you did before? Or how do you move through it?
Laura: Now I feel like I notice it more. And I'm like, let's just do this, Laura, let's just go. The awareness of it alone helps me push myself. I got a new client that I was a little nervous to work with because I hadn't done a lot of the work that they were looking for me to do. And I was like, You know what, let's just dive in. We'll see how it goes. We'll do it. And it worked. Great. We did. We did some really fun stuff together. I was so nervous, though.
Getting uncomfortable and taking a risk, gets you to the goal faster than staying in indecision.
Rebecca: And you learn that you can move forward and be nervous. It's okay, it was fine. I remember you felt that way, when it came to investing in coaching. We had a couple of conversations about moving forward with coaching. And I wanted to give you a lot of space to try to process through that. And there just became this moment where you were like, Look, I'm not going to be comfortable with this decision (spending a lot of money investing in myself), that's uncomfortable, but what's going to get me to my goal? Is it staying comfortable and not having help that will get me to my goal? Or is being uncomfortable and willing to put myself out there and take some risk that is that going to get me to my goal? And so, obviously, you chose the latter, but I remember that conversation even way back in our very first couple of calls.
Laura: Yeah. 100%. It's being okay with being uncomfortable. And that's okay. That will get you closer to where you want to be. It's hard. It's not easy.
Rebecca: No, it's not easy. It's not easy at all. There's so many great things that I work with my clients to try to help them make that a little bit easier. But one of the things is just believing that discomfort means you're in the right place. If you're uncomfortable, like, I'm pushing the boundaries of what's possible for me and the life that's possible for me and who I am. And all of those things like, this is a sign that actually I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. The last one that you mentioned to me or that you wrote down was that you have life goals and writing them down is what helps them to become true. So talk to us about that.
Laura: I've always felt passionate about certain areas of my life, but I had never really verbalized what I wanted to do with my life, like what I wanted to do before my life was over. And so writing down my life goals with you in a way that made them so tangible in the exercise, and writing them out every morning - just that activity of writing them down every day and then sharing them with my husband and others started to make them come true.
Rebecca: Why do you think that is? Why do you think just writing them down made them come true for you?
The power of verbalizing your dreams and goals.
Laura: Probably because I had for the first time verbalized them. I had never brought them to the front of my mind before in this way. Saying that I want to become a published poet someday, I never said that before. I knew I liked doodling down poems. But I never knew that I wanted to become a published poet someday. And because I thought about it so much. I wrote a poem. And I shared it with all of my friends and family on my Christmas card. And I would never have done that before. I felt like poetry was personal on my own, and I was never going to share it. And now I've pushed myself to think you know what, this is something that can bring other people as much comfort, or maybe a smile as it does to me. It just brought it to my mind. So when opportunities came up, I would take them. So I really want to become more active in my community, a leader in my community, if you will. And since we started working together, I joined two volunteer boards. And when the opportunities came up, I was like, Yes, this helps me towards my life goal to be more active in my community. And maybe before I would have just let these opportunities pass me by or I wouldn't have seized them. I don't know, it just felt so serendipitous.
Rebecca: I've gone through a similar process. In seasons of writing down goals to try to help manifest them if you will, I hate using that word. But that’s because I don't think that's what's happening, I think what's happening is because you have them at the top of your mind, when the opportunity comes by you, your brain is more likely to say, Oh, look, that's what you've been thinking about that, here's a moment where you can do that. And so it's not as if something magical happened, it's just that your brain connected something that you deeply want with an opportunity that's in front of you, it made the connection and there's more energy behind it. And there's less fear because you've already named it. But first, of course, you have to go through the process of naming and giving vision and we did a lot of that work together for sure. And thinking far enough ahead? What is this? Like big picture? What do you really want out of life? What do you really want out of motherhood? What's gonna make it feel like you'll never look back and feel any kind of regret? We asked some really big questions and started to answer them to give your brain some vision for what is this regret-free life that you want? What does it look like for your career and your home life to come together? What's the vision behind that, because if your brain doesn't have a vision, it's just not gonna really go anywhere. You're not giving it any kind of direction. And so we did a lot of work to give it direction. And then you did the hard work of keeping it at the top of your mind and remembering it, and then taking the opportunities when they came.
Laura: Yeah, it's so satisfying to know that you have a purpose and that you know that your life is going in the direction that you want it to go. It's really a sense of relief, that you feel good that you don't have to worry that you're not doing the right thing, or you're not in the right place. You can feel content.
Rebecca: Oh, that's such a good word. Yeah, content for sure. I love it. I don't know if you have gotten to this place yet. But I have moments like this on and off a lot where I sit. And I really think about this life that I'm in. And I feel overcome with so much gratitude for the work that I do, the clients that I serve and the impact I'm making, the kids that I have, the dynamic of my family, the balance between it all. I just I step back, and I take this picture, and I am overcome with like emotion and joy. And I just allow myself this time of like, wow, I am living the life that I want to live. And I'm curious, have you now that you left this job and you're off on your own, if you've had some of these moments for you already on reflection?
Finding herself again through coaching.
Laura: Oh, 100% it all feels like such a gift that I thank God for often. I'm so grateful to have worked with you to bring out what I think was dormant in me. Things I knew deep down I wanted but were so buried in my subconscious. After living so in the moment in the chaos of motherhood, I needed someone to help me find myself again, and find what I need to do to feel like me again, to feel like I'm a priority. And that this is my life too. And that, yes, I am working to raise humans and be the best that they can be, but I also have goals for myself. And I also want to live a full life, myself with my husband and my family, my friends. And I think that easily can get lost. You helped me bring that to the center, and to be able to say, I'm raising these humans, I'm also working towards these life goals, I also have these one-year goals. And it just felt so satisfying to give myself that attention again and that time.
Rebecca: You sound so clear. It is so fun to hear you talking about it, because you feel so clear in what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, where you’re headed, you feel like you’re in the driver’s seat of where life is going, having that sense of clarity and direction. Compared to a year and a half ago where you felt so lost and scared and unfulfilled. This is such a big transformation and I love that you are here sharing it with us. Thank you so much for sharing.
Laura: Thanks, Rebecca.
Rebecca: Is there anything else you want to talk about? Anything big that surfaced during your journey?
What you receive when you invest in yourself.
Laura: I would just say that I was really nervous at first about investing in coaching and within 6-8 months of working with you, I had already paid off my investment because I had started this business. So I think it can be scary but the rewards you get back from it are extremely priceless. And if you’re like me and you are starting a business, you will 100% payback your coaching very quickly, I guarantee it because just the mindset-shit alone that allows you to open yourself up to these possibilities is something that maybe you won’t be able to achieve on your own as easily. At least I felt that way.
Rebecca: I love that. And I’ve been thinking a lot about investment that doesn’t have a financial return, because it’s so easy to think about investing and say ‘well I’m going to get this back when my business is X, Y or Z’, right? I’ve been thinking a lot about investing in ourselves, or investing just because we want to become the person, or have the life, or meet the dream and the value behind that. For me that’s my life coach - who helps me manage my life and manage my thoughts, there is no financial return on that BUT the person that I am and the mom that I am, and the calmness that I find, and certainty that I gain - there is no price that I could put to that. It’s creating a life for me that will serve me forever. It’s such a big thing. Yes, investing is always scary. And as we were talking about before, if you believe what you’re going to gain from it then it’s almost inevitable that the investment will be successful for you.
Laura: Oh yeah, coaching changed the trajectory of my life and the outlook I have on my life. And so even if it wasn’t something that I was going to get a return on, I would still 100% have done it because I am showing up so much better for my family, my friends, and myself.
Rebecca: And even then, I had a conversation with a current client who is in the conversations of getting promoted because of the work we have done together in growing her confidence and getting clear on what’s next for her - it has opened up conversations with her boss to move forward in a promotion. Which wasn’t necessarily what we were coaching on, but because she is becoming someone new and growing this confidence, the door opened for her. It happens all the time as we level up in life. So many good things are in store for you Laura, I am so excited for your business and where you are headed. I know you have such a specific niche, but I would love if there are listeners out there looking for your services to be able to know where to find you. So tell us who you serve as a copywriter and where we can find you and of course, I will put that all in the show notes as well.
Laura: Yes, thank you so much. I specialize in the food and beverage industry, so people who want to be connected with how their food and beverages are made. I work with food brands and organizations to amplify their voice and connect them with their audience it’s my goal to build believers in our farmers and food producers, ultimately to drive sales for local businesses. I bring the legacy of farming in my family every day. So if you are an innovative business that is doing something new in our food system and you want better results with your blog, or emails or website, then lets chat. I’m at redbarnwriter.com.
Rebecca: So good. Thank you again for taking this time and sharing your story through coaching and how far you’ve come. I know so many working moms, whether they’re starting a business or not - which is not the majority of them that I work with, but finding the purpose and the clarity and living into that life you want to live is so inspiring.
