Balancing life through the holiday hustle

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In this week's episode of the podcast, we’re diving into the ultimate holiday dilemma: how to have it all - the magic, the joy and the rest, without the stress and burnout.  

I’ll share the secret to creating a holiday season you’ll actually look back on with pride and happiness, plus actionable tips to prioritize what matters most, let go of the rest, and stay connected to what you truly want this season. If you’re craving a holiday filled with joy, presence, and balance, you won’t want to miss this episode! 

Topics in this episode: 

  • Why you’re actually chasing feelings, not tasks. 

  • Envisioning a stress-free, magical holiday season. 

  • Choosing your must-haves and letting the rest go. 

  • How to prioritize downtime for joy and connection. 

  • Empowering beliefs to support a holiday full of presence and peace. 

 Show Notes & References: 

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Transcript

Intro 

I know, I know, I know. We are just weeks away from Christmas and the end of the year, and you want all the things, right?  

 

You still wanna decorate cookies and do the holiday parties and get the best presents and make this season magical for you and your family. And you also want a week of just lounging around in your pajamas. And you don't wanna feel stressed out and burned out and anxious about getting back to work after your holiday vacations are over, right? You truly want it all.  

 

In today's podcast, I'm offering you a little secret into what it takes to truly have it all this holiday season. And it's not exactly what you think. I'm also offering several practical ways to ensure this holiday season is full of joy and magic and presence.  

 

This episode is about having it all, with a little twist. Are you ready? Let's get to it.  

 

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms Podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom. I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.  

 

Happy holidays, working moms. Oh, my goodness. I'm so glad to be here. I'm actually on a walk right now, enjoying the brisk, cold breeze as I write this podcast today. My fingers are very numb as I'm writing this, but I have all of the feels of the season right now. 

 

And if that's not where you're at, if you're feeling stressed out or overwhelmed or sad or whatever emotion is that you might be feeling around the holidays, I want you to know it's okay. You don't have to be somebody that loves the holidays. You don't have to be someone that wants to make it magical. 

 

Holiday expectations. 

There is a lot of expectations that come with the holidays. Some of that is put on us by others. A lot of it comes from ourselves and our own expectations of what we want the holidays to be and what we want it to be for our kids and what we should be doing for our families during the holiday season. 

 

But I want to give you permission right now to just let it all go. You get to make the holidays whatever you want them to be. 

 

And, we're going to talk a little bit about that here today on the podcast. This is going to be very holiday focused because I want to help you manage this season with more ease and a lot less stress. 

 

We're only a couple of weeks away from Christmas, and so there's plenty of time to make the holidays what you want them to be. 

 

The Desire for Holiday Perfection 

Okay, so this phrase has come up a lot during this holiday season from friends, from clients, from just women in general. Here it is. What I hear around the holidays is, I just want it all. I want to go to the holiday parties, I want to buy the perfect gifts and to shop locally, I want to cook, eat good food, I wanna decorate the house extravagantly, and I also wanna just hang out in my PJs for the day, and I wanna linger over a good book or I want to get out of town and I don't want to see any of my family at all. 

 

And I just want to go to Hawaii or somewhere warm. And I want to do something totally different without feeling guilty about it. Right? Whatever your version is of wanting it all during the holidays, it's about magic and kind of wanting the holiday magic of some kind, but not wanting all of the stress. 

 

The Cost of Wanting It All 

Right? You want to get out of Dodge and travel, and you want the cozy turkey dinner with, with laughter and family, sitting around the table, right? You want it all. And you're an ambitious person, so likely you, in fact, do try to do a lot of these things during the holidays. 

 

But my hunch is that for many of you, wanting it all kind of immediately, you'd, like, cringe at the stress and the burnout and the exhaustion that happens that comes along with that. Right? And it's also really hard to let go, of some of those experiences, some of those expectations, some of the magic that you are trying to create. 

 

So what do we do with that? Right. That's sort of the question I wanna answer here today on this podcast. 

 

What You Truly Want This Holiday Season 

But here’s the thing. I actually don’t think you want it all. You don’t want to do it all. You don’t want to check all of the things off of your to-do list. You don’t want the perfect gifts, you don’t want the perfect holiday meal. You don’t want to do all of the things—I mean, you sort of do. 

 

But even more than that, you actually want to feel the emotions that come along with doing those things. Let me explain it in another way. 

 

A Visualization for Your Holiday Success 

I want you to take 20 seconds and walk yourself through this little visualization with me. If you can, close your eyes. If you’re driving, obviously don’t do that. But stop—literally stop for a moment—and take in what I’m about to walk you through. 

 

Okay? So I want you to imagine you’re starting work, and it’s Monday, January 6, 2025. The holidays are over. And as you look back over the holiday season, you feel pride. You feel this sense of satisfaction. And actually, as you think about it, a smile crosses your face. 

 

Because you focused on the things that really mattered. You were able to take time to rest, you were able to be with family, and you were able to manage all the dynamics in a way that felt really good to you. You were present, you experienced giggles and rest. You did all the things, and it was as perfect as it could have been. 

 

Let Your Mind and Body Feel It 

Take a moment and really let your brain visualize that, and then allow your body to experience all of those good feelings that come with it. Okay? You might even pause this episode for a moment and really, really see this in your mind. 

 

It feels so good, doesn’t it? I mean, even as I talk this out and walk you through this visualization, a smile crosses my face as I think about what that experience is like for me. 

Can you describe the feeling that you feel as you visualize the holidays really going the way you want them to go? Or can you simply imagine how you would feel if you had managed to do all the things you want to do—without all of the stress and exhaustion? 

 

You Are Chasing a Feeling 

The feelings that come up for me are joy, connectedness—like feeling really connected to my family—or just that feeling of being. I know this isn’t really an emotion, but it’s that feeling of being full, like you’re absolutely bursting with joy. 

 

So here’s what I wanna offer to you. Whatever that feeling is that you want to feel after the holidays are over—whether it’s joy, connectedness, fullness, rested, or feeling at peace—whatever that emotion is that you wanna feel after the holidays are over, after you’ve done all of the things and not felt all the stress and burnout and all those things, whatever that emotion is, that is the thing that you are chasing this holiday season. 

 

You are not actually chasing doing all of the things, checking all of the boxes, and making sure that you create all of the magical memories for your kids this holiday season. 

 

You are chasing a feeling. 

 

What You Truly Want Behind It All 

Now, you might argue with me for a moment, right? You might say, "Well, Rebecca, actually, I do want to do all of those things. I want to create all of the beautiful, wonderful memories, and I want the amazing holiday meal. I want the rest time, I want the giggles, I want seven days in my pajamas, I want to go to all of the holiday parties, and I want to go to all the holiday activities at my kids’ school. And I want to be happy. I want all of those things." 

 

Yes, I know you do. Of course you do. You’re an ambitious person. 

 

I’m simply suggesting the reason that you want all those things is because you want to feel a certain way during the holidays. Or maybe, for some of you, it’s that you don’t want to feel a certain way during the holidays. You want the opposite of a particular emotion. 

You want to get to the end of the holidays. You want to get to January. And whether everything went perfectly or not, you want to feel joy. You want to feel like you were present and like you didn’t miss out on the magic. 

 

You don’t want to feel exhausted and like you need another vacation from the vacation. 

 

Reflecting on a Magical Holiday Season 

Last year I had the most amazing holiday season. And as I look back and remember a few things that happened, there are some things that stood out to me. Right? There was the annual girls' night out where my mom, my daughter, and I all got dressed up to see a Christmas performance of some kind. Then we went out to eat, laughed, and smiled. My daughter got a new holiday dress, like she does every year. It’s just this amazing, wonderful holiday memory and tradition that we have. 

 

Cherished Christmas Morning Moments 

Last year was also the first year we went to my parents' house for Christmas morning. They only live 30 minutes from us, but we decided to make a little mini vacation out of it. We spent a couple of nights there, woke up for Christmas morning, and opened gifts. Santa visited us during the night, we enjoyed some mimosas, and had local bagels. My heart feels so full as I think about that experience. 

 

I took off almost the entire holiday season and didn’t work at all when the kids were off. We planned some outings together. I remember we were even supposed to go sledding, but we decided to cancel last minute because it felt like too much. It was one of those things that we decided not to do, and it worked out just fine. 

 

The Perfect Balance of Magic and Rest 

I made sure we weren’t totally overscheduled so we could actually relax, enjoy holiday movies, and just be around the Christmas tree, smelling the pine of a freshly cut tree. There was plenty of space for decorating, lights, going to see lights, and enjoying hot chocolate. There was leisure, rest, holiday activities, and magical moments. 

 

It was amazing. It was full, but it wasn’t too full. I felt so connected to my loved ones. And as I look back, I feel gratitude and appreciation. 

 

I want that same experience this year. And I want the same thing for you. 

 

Reframing the Holiday Experience 

Notice how much of how I described this magical holiday experience last year was through feelings. Did you hear all of that? Right? I felt full, I felt connected, I felt grateful, I felt appreciation. 

 

This is really an important reframe, right? Because if you want to experience a feeling during the holidays, then we actually need to start talking about the mindset and the priorities that are going to help you create those feelings. 

 

And I have a menu of options for you here today—ways of prioritizing things that I think are really important. These will help unlock that experience of joy, connectedness, fullness, warmth, and all the feelings you want to experience during the holiday season. 

 

So we’re going to jump into some practical ways that you can create this holiday feeling this year. 

 

Creating the Feelings You Want This Holiday Season 

Okay, so let’s jump into this. These are several different ways that you can go about creating the feeling that you want to experience this holiday season. That feeling of joy, that feeling of connectedness, that feeling of presence. 

 

Okay? Remember, that’s the goal. It’s a feeling state that you want to be at. It’s not how do I get through all of my to-do list and how do I absolutely do everything that I want to do this holiday season? It’s not that at all. 

 

It’s actually, how do I create the feeling? Okay, so that’s the goal. 

 

Start with Non-Negotiables 

Here’s a few things I want to offer to you. The first one is that I want you to pick one or two non-negotiables for you this holiday season. These are the few things that you wanna absolutely make sure that you make happen, right? 

 

Your brain needs to know what these are so that you don’t let these things go, right? These aren’t the things that kind of fall off or you decide not to do that you’re going to end up being very resentful of if you let go of. 

 

The Power of Non-Negotiables 

Okay? So for example, for me, I have two really important non-negotiables for me this year. The first one is cutting down a Christmas tree. It's actually something that we do right after Thanksgiving. It is an absolute priority for me because it is such a magical memory. I look forward to it all year long. My kids talk about it all year long. I am not willing to compromise on this. 

 

Actually, last year my husband surprised me and my best friend and like sent us on a weekend trip, right after Thanksgiving. And he had planned it for the day after Thanksgiving, like for two or three days, I can't really remember. And he was surprising me with it though. He told me that I was going to go somewhere. I just didn't really know what we were going to do. 

 

And I reminded him. I was like, look, we cut out a Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. Like that's a non-negotiable for me. I have to do that. I have to do that with my kids. It's so special to me. And he actually changed all of our, that weekend plans with my best friend to accommodate me cutting down a Christmas tree. That's how much of a non-negotiable it is for me. 

 

And as I look back on it, because my best friend was in town for it, like it was such a beautiful holiday memory. I'm so glad that we did that. But that's a non-negotiable for me. I wasn't gonna let that go. No way. Even for a surprise trip my husband planned. 

 

Defining Your Non-Negotiables 

The second thing for me this year, because we didn’t get to do it last year, is I really want to take the kids sledding. I want to take them to the snow. They don’t get to see snow every year unless we actually make a trek to the mountain to do it. And so this year I absolutely want to make it happen. 

 

It’s going to happen likely between Christmas and New Year’s, but of course, I’m going to watch the weather on that one because I don’t want to be trekking through piles and piles of snow. But that is a non-negotiable. 

 

I’ve already talked about it with my husband. I already have a sense of where we want to go. I’m starting to reach out to some friends that might want to make a trip of it with us. I’m so excited about it. 

 

Okay, so pick your non-negotiables. Right? These are the things you’re not going to let go of. I encourage you to only have a couple of them. 

 

Prioritize Rest to Create Joy and Presence 

The second thing that’s going to be very important for you to create the feeling—remember, the feeling of joy, presence, and connectedness—is that you must schedule in rest. 

 

This is the thing that falls to the wayside for women. Most women think rest is something that sort of happens if there is time. But of course, there’s never actually going to be time to rest. It simply has to be a choice that you make to prioritize instead of getting something else done. 

 

I had a client reach out to me recently and tell me that she had chosen to let go of her to-do list and work and just spend some quality time with her son one evening. She was so proud of herself. I can’t even remember exactly what they did together—reading or playing. Her son is quite little, but she was so proud of herself for prioritizing downtime with her family and letting rest and playtime be more of a priority. 

 

And for you, the way to guarantee that you have more rest and downtime so you can be more present and truly enjoy the holiday season is to schedule it in. I promise—it’s the easiest way. 

 

Schedule Time Off from Work 

Another way to make sure that your holidays are filled with joy, rest, fun, and magic is not just to schedule in rest time, but to schedule in off-work time. This is the time that you are literally out of the office. Your out-of-office is on. You aren’t getting notifications from work. You’re totally off. You are not working. 

 

Your off time needs to be in your calendar. You literally need to block off your off time. Right? 

 

 Plan Your Time Off Intentionally 

For me, I looked at my calendar. I’m taking three days off at the Thanksgiving holiday. I am taking two weeks off at Christmas. It was really important that I got my calendar out—about a week or so before Thanksgiving is when I did this—and I marked that time off. Doing this helped me create a plan to ensure that the goals I wanted to achieve before the end of the year were actually possible for me. 

 

I remember for years, I would actually struggle with taking time off around the holidays because there was always more to do. I always felt behind, and I always felt like I wasn’t hitting my goals in the way that I wanted to. 

 

Commit to Being Fully Off 

There was this wishy-washy commitment about when I was going to be off and when I was going to be working, which is really easy to do as an entrepreneur. I didn’t really know when I was going to schedule fun things with the kids. 

 

Even though there were times of rest and times of working, in my mind, I always felt like I should be working because I never fully committed to being off. So then, when I was off, I was sort of only half off because my brain kept telling me I should be working. I felt guilty about that. 

 

I would keep my email on, and I was only half present with my kids during the break and the fun things we were doing together. And then I felt terrible as a mom. 

 

You have to decide when you are fully off—when you’re off work, make it a commitment. Put it into your calendar. 

 

Choose Magical Memories to Create 

The next thing is that I want you to decide ahead of time what magical memories you are going to create for your kids this year. And it’s okay if it looks different than other years or even other families. 

 

At the time this podcast is airing, you’re just a couple of weeks away from Christmas, right? So what are the experiences that you want to create for your kids this year within this couple-of-week push to Christmas and the end of the year? 

 

Is it baking cookies, decorating the house or the Christmas tree together, going sledding like me, drinking hot cocoa around a fire, watching a Christmas movie together, lounging around in your pajamas for several days, going on a special mom-kid date to a coffee shop, or volunteering in your kid’s class for the holiday party? 

 

Pick a Few and Prioritize Them 

When you get to the end of the holidays and look back, what holiday magical memory do you wish you had prioritized for yourself as a mom during the season? 

 

Right now, you might hear all of those ideas and think, I’m gonna do all of them! And I know—that’s great. But I want you to just pick a few. 

 

Pick the ones that really stand out to you, that make you feel connected to your kids this holiday season, and that make you feel like you’re going to get to the end of the holidays and feel so proud of yourself—so connected to the holiday season. 

 

So, I want you to pick just a couple and put those in your calendar. 

 

Cut Your To-Do List in Half 

And here’s the last suggestion for you this holiday season to really create the joy and have the "have-it-all" feeling that you want to have at the end of the season. I want you to get out your to-do list right now, if you even can, and I want you to cut it in half. 

 

I want you to ruthlessly edit out all of the things that you really do not need to do this holiday season—things that are just going to create more stress or more busyness and simply won’t add to the magic of the holiday season or be worth it to you. 

 

Maybe it’s holiday cards, right? If you haven’t done your holiday cards by now, it’s probably time to let them go. Or maybe it’s the extra gifts that you like to buy for your teachers or your neighbors? Nope, let them go. 

 

Maybe it’s desserts—like, you love to bake, but store-bought is probably going to be fine this year. It’s okay. What do you need to simply cut off of your to-do list to make time for these other things that truly fill you up, bring rest, and make you feel really full of all the holiday special magic this season? 

 

The Goal Is to Feel, Not to Do 

Like I said, I had a menu of options for you today to choose from on how to get to the end of the holiday season feeling full, connected, present, and filled with joy. But remember, that is the goal—it’s to feel something, right? 

 

It’s not actually to do all of the things. We want to feel the experience of the holidays. And we do that by bringing focus, letting go of the things we can let go of, choosing our times to rest and not work, and truly fostering this experience of the holidays. 

 

Join the Holiday Community for More Support 

And if you want even more ideas, and you want to hear from other working moms who are simplifying the holidays and focusing on creating joy and magical memories this season, I want to make sure that you’ve joined my WhatsApp holiday community. 

 

This is actually a pop-up community I started several weeks ago, created just for the holiday season to support you in creating the holiday experience you want. 

 

There’s a link to join in the show notes. Don’t walk—run to get that link right now and join us. There is so much magic going on in this group, so much support, and I want you to be part of it as well. 

 

It’s completely free, so it’s another way—another avenue of support—for you to create the wonderful, magical, all-in holiday experience that you want this season. 

 

Aligning Your Mindset for the Holidays 

Now, all of the ideas I have mentioned here will really help you cut back your tasks, prioritize what truly matters, and edit out the things that don’t. But the last thing I want to talk to you about is mindset. 

 

I want to offer you one key question: What is the mindset you need to have during the holidays to truly focus on the things that matter most, delegate and let go of the rest, schedule in your priorities and stick to them, and ultimately get through the holiday season feeling present, joyful, connected, and full to the brim? 

 

What is the mindset you need? 

 

Empowering Mindsets to Consider 

Here are some examples: 

 

  • Maybe it’s a mindset of empowerment: 
    I get to decide what’s important to me. 
    I deserve the holiday experience I want. 
    I’m in charge of my time. 

 

  • Or maybe it’s a mindset to reset your expectations: 
    My family doesn’t always need to agree with me, and that’s okay. 
    It’s okay for people to be disappointed with my choices. I get to live my life my way. 

 

  • Perhaps it’s a mindset about time: 
    There’s plenty of time to get everything done that truly matters. 
    I control my time. It’s not about how much time I have, but how I use it. 

 

  • Or maybe it’s about work: 
    My life is not about work. My off time is just as important as my work time. 
    I work so that I can play—it’s not the other way around. 
    No one’s going to die if I don’t get all of my work done. (A favorite of many of my clients!) 

 

Adopt Your Holiday Mantra 

You can use one of these mindsets or come up with one of your own. Think of it almost like a mantra—something you can repeat to yourself over and over again. Write it down, post it around your house, and let it guide you. 

 

This mindset will be key in helping you stick to your priorities, let go of the rest, and truly experience the fullness of the holiday season. 

 

The Holidays Magnify Your Balance Habits 

My friends, the holidays are like a little microcosm of your greater work-life balance habits. The same things that tend to get in the way of you living a priority-first life and experiencing joy and fullness during the holidays are likely the same things that get in the way of you being fully present and living a priority-first life outside of the holidays. 

 

The holidays simply magnify the work-life balance challenges you face in your everyday life. 

 

Reflect and Take Action 

And I point this out because there’s some really good reflection here. There is insight into what’s getting in the way, what it’s going to take for you to really take back control of your time and your happiness. 

 

And what I want you to do is I actually want you to take that insight, and I want you to bring it to a free coaching call with me so we can discuss how to help you be present and connected and calm, not just during the holidays, but during the other 11 months out of the year. 

 

On this free coaching call, I call this a breakthrough call. What we’re going to do is we’re going to talk about those insights, and we’re going to talk about my two offers. I coach with my clients one-on-one for six months, and I also have a group coaching program called Ambitious and Balanced, where the next cohort is starting in February. 

 

And we’re going to talk about how I can help you actually reach your goals of being present and connected and taking back control of your time through coaching together. There’s no more stressful holidays, my friends. No more overwhelm, no more burnout in your everyday life. I got you. 

 

2025 Is Going to Be Your Year 

2025 is going to be your year. Your year of experiencing balance, controlling your time, prioritizing yourself and your family, and really feeling present for the amazing life that you have created. I can help. 

 

Your next step is to learn about those coaching programs and connect with me by going to my website, www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com to learn more and schedule that free coaching call. 

 

All right, working moms, until next week. One week closer to Christmas. Let’s get to it. 

 

Book Your Free Breakthrough Call 

The next step to getting unstuck and having more days where you bounce out of bed feeling certain that you’re doing exactly what you want to be doing, regaining your confidence, ending all of that negative chatter in your head is to book a free breakthrough call. 

 

This is a strategy call where I will guide you through setting a vision for the life that you want to lead as a working mom. And then I’ll lay out a plan for exactly how we will achieve that together through one-on-one coaching. 

 

You can book that call by going to www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/book.All right, working moms, let’s get to it! 

Rebecca Olson