BONUS: The Power of Me-Time (and How to Finally Make It Happen)

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In this week's episode of the podcast, I'm diving into one of the most overlooked (but most essential!) priorities for sustainable work-life balance: me time. If you've ever said, “I don’t even know what I’d do with time to myself,” this episode is for you. I’m breaking down why taking time just for you isn’t selfish or indulgent—it’s necessary. I share real stories from working moms who pushed past guilt, redefined what fills them up, and started living more joyfully. And I offer the mindset shifts and tools to help you do the same. 

Topics in this episode:

  • Why me time is not optional—it's foundational to balance 

  • What real "me time" looks like (and what it isn’t) 

  • How cultural messages push moms to de-prioritize themselves 

  • The guilt working moms feel—and how to move past it 

  • Real stories of women choosing joy over efficiency  

Show Notes & References:

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Transcript

Intro

Welcome to this special miniseries of the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast.

In my work as a coach over the last eight years, I've had thousands of conversations with working moms. And what I have found is that the ones that thrive at both the boardroom and at bedtime have one thing in common: they focus on four key priorities that support sustainable, fulfilling work-life balance.

These are the very same priorities I coach on inside the Ambitious and Balanced program. And in this series, I'm giving you a behind-the-scenes look at what they are, why they matter, and how to create real transformation.

Whether you're feeling overwhelmed, stretched thin, or like something needs to change but you're not sure what, this series is your starting place.

And if you're ready to go deeper, the next round of Ambitious and Balanced is open for enrollment right now. You can head to my website, www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced to learn more and grab your spot.

And let's get to it.

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom, I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it.

Reclaiming Your Time 

Hello, working moms. I am so excited about today's episode because if you listened to the episode that came out on Monday, I talked about reclaiming your time as a working mom and how when you truly achieve work-life balance, you also achieve a sense of control over your calendar.

And the essential priority that we're diving into today is me time. Me time, meaning time that you have set aside for yourself. When you have actually achieved sustainable work-life balance, that time is going to be in your calendar and you’re going to protect it with your life.

Why Me Time Matters for Sustainable Work-Life Balance

One of the things I hear from working moms all the time—and it was really my experience as well—is, you know, when I became a mom 11 years ago, I felt lost.

I went into what was sort of like a mini identity crisis, and now I realize it’s the experience of so many other moms. I call it the motherhood identity crisis now. But I didn’t know that at the time.

What happens is a lot of women lose sight of who they are, right? They become completely engrossed and focused on their baby—on diaper changes, on sleeping, on getting your daughter to sleep, on thinking about all her needs.

And then of course, when I went back to work, I started thinking about work and what they needed and showing up and doing well and proving myself and not falling short. Very quickly, I became very lost in knowing what mattered to me, what I cared about, what I even wanted.

I totally lost touch with desire and had no idea what really filled me up anymore.

And that’s why this is such an essential priority in a life that feels balanced. It’s why women that have achieved sustainable work-life balance have found a way to make time for themselves.

Me Time Is About Filling Yourself Up, Not a Checkbox

Because the reality is you are not just a mom and you are not just a high performer, and you're not just a daughter and you're not just a spouse and you're not just a friend or a household manager, right? You're a human being.

And a life that feels balanced is one where you are in touch with what it means to be a human being—to experience happiness and joy and satisfaction within yourself. And that feels tangible to you. It feels palpable to you.

We as women are traditionally outpours, right? We spend so much time prioritizing our kids and their needs, our team’s needs, our coworker needs, our spouse’s needs, and likely eventually our parents’ needs—and our needs are way at the bottom. And oftentimes it’s really close to marriage as well, right? It’s like those two things are way down at the bottom of the to-do list.

And filling your own cup—huh? What does that even mean?

You will absolutely never be able to achieve work-life balance if you are pouring out of an empty cup. You’ll never actually be filled up in such a way that joy flows out of you—like that magnetic joy that is possible within you.

And so it’s important, as we start talking about what me time actually is and how to reclaim that time for yourself, to understand this: me time is about filling you up. It’s not a checkbox.

Me Time Fills You Up, It’s Not About Accomplishment

And clients will come to me and say, well, I really love organizing and I've been really wanting to organize that closet for a while. It would feel so good to do that. And I'm like, cool, great, you should definitely do that. But that's not me time.

Or I'll have clients that come to me and they'll say, I really love working out, I love to go, I love to run, and I'm like, great. You should definitely do that. It's important for your health. It's important for your longevity. You certainly need to do that. But that is not me time.

At the end of your me time, you should feel filled up, not accomplished, if that makes sense. It's two very different things. You should feel satisfied but not proud of yourself, because you didn't necessarily do anything. You were a human being. You filled yourself up.

Give, give, give. Serve, serve, serve. Put yourself last. That is the message that we hear from our culture. It is the traditional role that we as women have played in our households and in our societies. And it will continue to be the message to the next generation of girls who will grow up hearing that—unless we decide to change it.

And that change starts not in your calendar. It starts with the way you think about and how you value your me time and that time that you've set aside for yourself.

It starts with believing that you are valuable and that you are worth it, that you are not just a productivity machine where your value comes from your hard work and getting through your to-do list or having a clean house or nailing the next presentation or client call.

It comes because you were born. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone. You don't have to prove your value to anyone.

And when you truly believe that, me time is going to get a whole lot easier.

Struggling to Know What to Do With Your Me Time? You’re Not Alone

But, Rebecca, look, I'm not even sure what I would do with the time set aside for myself right now. Look, if that's you, I want you to know you're not alone. A lot of my clients come to me and say that. I think I even talked about that in the last episode.

And they sort of laugh at me, right? They're like, I'm not even sure what I would do with that time.

Look, the things that fill you up today likely aren't the things that used to fill you up before kids. That's okay. You're likely going to have to explore some interest. Hey, you're going to have to have a little fun and get curious about what types of activities really, truly bring you joy.

Because joy for the last several years has likely been centered around accomplishment, and it's been centered around fulfilling other people's needs. And me time is about tapping into joy, not for other people, but for you.

And so you're gonna have to learn what fun means to you in this season of life. Like, you're literally gonna have to go have fun for fun's sake.

And I know that taking this time aside can feel so difficult for working moms, right? You get stuck in this mindset that there's just not enough time or your spouse can't handle the kids without you.

Overcoming Mom Guilt: Choosing Yourself Without Shame

Actually, I had one client. I remember she admitted to me that she felt so guilty for getting up on a Saturday morning and going to a workout class because she was leaving her two young kids. I think they were both like under the age of two or something like that. She was leaving her two young kids with her husband, and she knew how difficult it was to be alone with the two of them.

And so she felt so guilty for leaving her husband with them, even though she knew she needed that workout. Like, yes, her body needed it, her mind needed it. It was something that she wanted to do just for her.

And it wasn't until we started coaching together that she was able to shift that mindset around what that time actually was and why it was so important.

Joy vs. Efficiency: The Real Trade-Off for Working Moms

I know so many women that see checking one more thing off the list, having a clean house, prepping for the next day as being valuable and productive. And I don't wanna argue with you that prepping lunches and cleaning the house might make you feel good. And you'll certainly wake up tomorrow and be really glad you did it.

But you're skirting joy, right? You'll have an efficient life, but you might not have a life filled with joy and happiness. And sometimes you're gonna have to choose between those two things.

I know that's a hard thing to say, but would you rather be filled with joy and have fun from time to time—not all the time, but from time to time—or be super efficient with your time because sometimes you can't have both.

Or would you rather feel prepared tomorrow or belly laugh with your best friend? Because, ah, sometimes you have to make a choice between the two.

Erika’s Story: Choosing Herself Before the Chaos

My client Erika, who was in the last cohort of Ambitious and Balanced—you've heard her here on the podcast—she started picking up a book and reading like 20 or 30 minutes before her boys got home from daycare, rather than picking up the house and rather than answering a couple more emails.

It was one of the hardest things for her to do. But she found that when she did it, her boys, when her boys would come to her and open that door and they would, have that smile on their face and they would run to her, she was ready for them. She was coming at them from a place of being filled up instead of depleted, feeling like her kids were just one more thing she had to manage that night.

Dana’s Concert Tickets: Reclaiming Joy in Small Ways

And I know, I've talked about Dana on the podcast because she was the one that loved going to concerts. She had totally cut that out from her life. And so in the middle of the program, she booked some tickets to a concert she really wanted to go to. I think she was going with a girlfriend.

And just that act alone, she hadn't even gone to the concert, she just booked the tickets. But that act alone made her feel like herself again. That's what she told us.

Paddleboarding and Priority-First Calendaring

There's even a working mom in the current cohort who decided to take paddleboarding lessons, something that she'd always wanted to do. And we literally had to walk step by step on what it was gonna take for her to take those two hours, like carve them out of a Saturday morning to take lessons, because it felt so difficult for her to do that.

But she also knew it was something she had to do just for herself because she was operating from such a place of depletion that she was willing to do the uncomfortable thing to make it happen.

I am doing this whole miniseries right here around the four essential priorities, because I want you to catch a glimpse around what someone that has experienced sustainable work-life balance prioritizes—and me time is at the top of the list, guaranteed.

In this program, we focus on those four essential priorities and you learn how to put those into your calendar first. That's a method I call priority-first calendaring. You take the time to focus on why these priorities are essential to you to build a sense of commitment and purpose as to why you're prioritizing them.

Following Through When It Feels Impossible

And then what I teach you is a whole host of tools on how to make sure you follow through. Because getting it onto your calendar is actually the easy part. Believe it or not. Following through and doing it—that's a whole other thing, right?

I remember one of my clients who loved going to yoga and it was like the hardest thing. Her little 2-year-old would come to the window and bang on it and cry and go, “No mama, no mama, don't go, don't go.” Oh my gosh, it's so heartbreaking to even think about that.

And yet that yoga class made her feel whole again. It was something she absolutely loved to do. It filled her up so much that when she would come back home to be with her daughter, she was operating from a place of overflowing, a place of excitement, of presence.

Maybe you have a kid that is telling you, “Don't go, don't go, mom.” Or maybe your kids are a little bit older and they're kind of guilt-tripping you, as mine sometimes does. You have to be able to handle that moment, right?

The Pivotal Moment That Changes Everything

And so in the ambitious and balanced program, I equip you with an essential toolkit on how to actually follow through in that pivotal moment. That's the moment when your brain is going to try to convince you that staying home and taking care of the kids or being with your kids because you haven't seen them all week, is going to be more valuable with your time, right?

It's the moment when you feel pressure to get back to someone in a timely manner or prioritize a deadline instead of this time for yourself. That pivotal moment is everything. And I walk you through a protocol in exactly what you need to do when that moment comes up.

Working moms, me time is not selfish and it's not optional.

It's one of the greatest things you could ever give your family and your employer. And you deserve it. Not because you've earned it, not because you've proved yourself in any way, but because you're a human being. And that is allowed—allowed to have desire and wants and fun in their life. The sooner you believe that, the sooner you'll start experiencing sustainable work-life balance.

Spots Are Limited: Join the Next Ambitious and Balanced Cohort

If this resonates with you at all, I invite you to check out the next ambitious and balanced cohort. Several spots are already filled and I only take 10 women into this powerful three month coaching program where you will learn that toolkit and be able to follow through with your priorities. Where you walk away with a priority first calendar, where there is me time in it and where you are prioritizing all the things that actually matter to you, making sure that you live regret free.

I would love to talk to you about this program. You can go to the website to learn more about the dates and the investment. And if you wish, you can book, a 30 minute consultation call with me to make sure this is the perfect fit for you. There is a link in the show notes for more information.

All right, working moms, make sure you tune in on Monday for the next episode of the Stop Surviving series and then next Wednesday when I break down the third essential priority in a sustainably balanced life. Are you ready? Let's get to it.

Balance Isn’t Just Possible, It’s Closer Than You Think

If you're listening to this thinking, yes, I want this kind of balance, but I have no idea how to get there, I want to personally invite you to join the next cohort of ambitious imbalance. This is my signature group coaching program for moms who want to stop overworking, stop people pleasing and finally start prioritizing themselves without sacrificing their ambition or success.

You'll walk away in this program with tools to switch out of work mode and be fully present at home, to make decisions without any guilt, to enjoy time for yourself without checking your inbox and finally to feel like you're in of your life again. One of my clients that graduated from the program recently said, this is the first time I felt like me since becoming a mom and that's the power of this program.

But listen, materials are going out Monday, August 18th and we start in September. Only 10 women will be accepted and once it's full, it's full. If your whole body just said I need a program like this, then go to https://www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/ambitiousandbalanced to get all the details and to save your spot. 

Balance isn't just possible, it's closer than you think. Are you ready? Let's get to it.

Rebecca Olson