Navigating your pesky "not enough" brain (a coaching session with Kaitlyn)

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In this week's episode of the podcast, I share an exciting coaching session with my former client, Kaitlyn, a mother of three who struggles with feeling like she's not doing enough.

During our session, I help her navigate these "not enough" thoughts, a common issue among working moms, and shift to a more positive mindset.

This is a great insight into what coaching looks like with me! Enjoy the episode working moms, and remember, balancing ambition and family is achievable. 

Topics in this episode:

  • Discussing “not enough" thoughts that many working moms experience. 

  • The "toddler brain" (negative, fear-based thoughts) versus the "parent brain" (rational, perspective-based thoughts). 

  • Managing negative thoughts. 

  • Shifting to a positive, grateful mindset. 

 Show Notes & References:

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Transcript

Intro

Oh, working mom friends, I cannot wait for you to listen to this episode. I have been waiting for this episode to come out for months and months now. This is an episode where you are actually going to listen to me coach someone. 

Now, I didn't plan this before we coached, but we had a session, and I thought it was so brilliant. It was such a great example of what coaching is, how it works, the insights that surface, and specifically the conversations that I tend to have with working moms that I went back to my client, and I asked her if I could put it on the podcast, and she said yes. So, thank you, Kaitlyn for letting me put this coaching episode on this podcast. 

Now, there's a couple of things that I want to highlight before you listen into the actual coaching session, which is about 23 minutes long, okay. 

The first thing that I want you to know is that this coaching took place in a monthly group coaching call that I offer free to all of my one-on-one clients that have graduated from coaching with me. 

So I work with my clients for six months, and then some of them decide to continue on and coach with me more one-on-one. And then some of them decide to graduate into this free group coaching call that happens once a month that I call implementation sessions. 

Okay? So, to give you some context, Kaitlyn is a past client of mine from about three years ago when we stopped coaching together, and she came to this group coaching call and asked for coaching. All right? So that's the context. That's where this coaching took place. 

But let me tell you why I think this coaching is so impactful and useful for you to listen to. So, the first thing that I want to point out is that I have this version of a conversation, like, this coaching session literally happens with every single one of my clients at some point in the midst of our six months together, every single one of my clients. 

Because - this is what has happened here. Kaitlyn, about a year and a half ago, I think it was, she decided to step away from her career and do something completely different. She decided to go into real estate. 

She has three kids, and you'll hear her say this, she says that she feels really good about this decision to shift things in her career for the sake of her family and the rhythms of her family, but - and this is where the coaching came in, she says she feels horrible every single day. 

Her ambitious mind continues to tell her that she should be doing more, that she's not enough, that she's not living up to her potential, that she made a mistake that she shouldn't be doing what she's doing right now. 

Any of that sound familiar to anyone out there? 

Of course it does. That's why this conversation happens with every single one of my clients. Every ambitious working mom that I know has some flavor of these same not enough thoughts. 

So in this coaching session, you're going to hear us talk about not trying to get rid of those thoughts altogether. I mean, I know it would be nice if it sort of worked that way, but in reality, our brains have a negative bias. 

And so what you'll hear me coach her on in the end, is not to actually get rid of those thoughts, but to recognize that those thoughts are useful at times. And instead, what she really wants is to have a different relationship to those thoughts. 

Okay, so it's really important that you catch this in the midst of the coaching session.

We're talking about the relationship Kaitlyn has with her negative thoughts. Right? In the context of this coaching session, I call it her toddler thoughts. Or her toddler brain. 

Toddler thoughts. 

Your toddler brain is constantly having a meltdown, like every toddler, right? It's telling you the meltdown sort of sounds like this. You're not enough. You're not doing enough, you're failing. You should be doing more. You're not living up to your potential, right? That's what your toddler brain sounds like. 

It doesn't matter what the circumstances are. It doesn't matter how successful you are today or over the course of the year, or how much money you made or whatever it is, it doesn't really matter. Your toddler brain is always telling you that. 

That's what it sounds like, and it's telling you you're doing something wrong, right? So what you'll hear me coach on is what it takes to kind of move into parent brain, because all of us have a parent brain as well. 

That part of your brain is the part that can actually think a little bit more rationally, can think long term, can have perspective, can have gratitude, can remember past successes, past failures, and how you've overcome them. Right? You have both parts of your brain talking to you all of the time. 

So over the course of this 24 minutes coaching session, you're going to hear me help Kaitlyn identify the difference between her toddler brain that's telling her that she's not enough, and the part of her brain that chose to leave her job and go into real estate and create the life that she has today and can hold perspective of why that decision is still the best decision for her. 

You'll hear me help her, like, better identify the difference between her toddler brain and her parent brain and, like, understand not only what those two voices sound like, but what it takes to move from toddler brain to parent brain. Right. 

From toddler voice in your head to parent voice in your head. 

Or another very simple way of saying that is, like, negative, not enough thought thinking to enough gratitude thinking. Right. And then, of course, as I do with all of my clients in all of my coaching sessions, you will hear me leave her with some homework that helps her to kind of deepen the understanding of what she learned in our coaching session today and give her some practical tools for how to shift out of her toddler brain and into her parent brain. Right. Okay. 

So, I wanted to give you all of that context because Kaitlyn and I have known each other for the past three years, and I know this could feel like you're kind of stepping into, like, what feels like an ongoing coaching conversation, because it sort of is. Right. 

So I wanted to make sure you really had a framework for what this coaching session is all about so you can hear the nuance of it. 

But one thing I want you to know is that it only took five minutes for us to get to the heart of what was going on for her in that moment. Right. Five minutes. 

Five minutes of me asking deeper questions that led to her finally, for probably the first time in months and months, an ability to be honest and vulnerable with herself and me, which, of course, then is about to change the course of how she moves forward. Right. 

Change does not take a lot of time.

What I want to point out in that is that change does not take a lot of time. It took five minutes. This is one of the reasons why I've lately, I've been thinking about myself as just being this, like, ninja working mom coach, because I have an ability to hear very quickly where the kind of the root of something is, where the root of the problem is, identify it so we can focus most of our time on the solution, which is what you're going to hear over the course of this coaching session. Okay? 

Now, the fastest way that I know how to make change, to make the real change that you want to have the ambitious and balanced life that you want or hit any goal that you wish to achieve, is by hiring a coach. 

I am somebody that always has a coach. I have, right now, I have a financial coach, but I have had life coaches. I've had business coaches. I've had goal focused coaches. I've had all the coaches. 

I believe in coaching, and there's a reason for that.

It is the fastest way I know to hit your goals. 

A coach is gonna help you see things that you can't see. A coach is gonna be able to hold your bigger goals of work and life even when they feel impossible to you. 

A coach is gonna help remind you of the countless other perspectives that you can have of your situation in your life in order to bring you more joy. 

Ultimately, a coach is gonna give you the tools to help you get unstuck and hit any goal that you want in the fastest way possible, because they have helped other people do it countless times. 

I have literally coached hundreds and hundreds of working moms in creating an ambitious and balanced life. The conversations that we have, the sessions we have, the material I give you, the tools and strategies I give you, are proven because they've worked for hundreds of other women up till now. 

There's no guessing in our coaching. I know exactly what's going on for you, and I can walk you through it. 

So if you haven't signed up for your free breakthrough call, that is the free coaching call that I offer to you when you feel ready to take that next step and find out if an investment in coaching with me is the right next step for you. 

If you haven't done that and you feel you listen to this coaching session and you want the same insight and the same kind of nuanced approach to your goals that I really, really, really want you to sign up for that free breakthrough call by going to www.rebeccaolsoncoaching.com/book. 

All right, working moms, enjoy this coaching session. Sign up for your free call. And until next week, let's get to it. 

Welcome, to The Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms podcast. The place for women who want to balance their ambitious career goals with their life as a mom. If you're looking to feel more confident, decisive and productive at both work and home, then this is the place for you. I'm your host, Rebecca Olson. Let's get to it.

Kaitlyn: I left my big corporate career in the fall. I got my license as a real estate agent. I hit that super hard for several months, to the point where I just, like, burned myself right out with taking care of all the kids and trying to build my business and all this stuff. 

I wouldn't say I necessarily have a ton to show for building my business because it just is a very long game. But I burned myself right out. 

Burning out.

And, like, in March, after my sister got married, I literally, like, couldn't get out of bed every day. Like, I was so tired every day that, like, I was slogging through. And I've kind of come to realize, that I have, like, I wouldn't say health issues, but, like, basically, my body is, like, no, no, no, we’re doing too much. 

So I've had to dial back significantly. And I think the next year or so, it's going to be a little crazy for my family. My son going into kindergarten, my kids are going to be in all different schools. 

And so, basically, I am coming to terms with the fact that, like, I'm not really working a ton right now, and yet I'm still doing all this stuff. I'm working for my family and whatever in the next year or two, I'm sort of on this, like, career downshift. 

And on an intellectual level, I'm, like, very okay with that. I'm like, this is what I need physically, mentally. This is what my family needs. 

On a more, emotional level. I'm struggling with it because I'm very ambitious, and I want to be doing all the things, but when I do all the things, I feel terrible, and I'm exhausted. So I actually do want to be doing less stuff. I'm just kind of struggling with having that be okay in my mind, basically.

Rebecca: So what do you want to get out of us talking about this right now?

Kaitlyn: I’m trying to make peace with, like, I don't know, Rebecca. I don't know. I'm just…

Rebecca: So many things we can talk about. So many things.

Kaitlyn: I know. I think the thing is, like, I know what I want. I practically understand that it's the right move. And, my brain keeps telling me, what if you never go back to work? What if you're like, this is ridiculous. I don't know. My brain is giving me this signal that this isn't what I want. I don't want that working and whatever.

Rebecca: What's the practical thing that you want?

Kaitlyn: I want to not feel horrible all the time, and I think I'm feeling horrible because I, like, do way too much. 

Like, I'm keeping all my little kids afloat and all their little lives afloat and, like, our whole family life afloat and our house and our social life, I'm, like, literally everything. 

And when I try to also, like, lean in really hard on, you know, working and building my business and also taking care of myself, like, something gives, and it ends up being me taking care of myself, and I don't want that. 

“I want to be able to be really present.”

I want to feel good. I just. I have a hard time mentally being, like, the thing that's going to take a break right now is me working, because I, like, judge myself for that or I don't know what it is, but I have, like, a, sticking point there.

Rebecca: What does it mean that you're keeping everything afloat?

Kaitlyn: I mean, like, all the little stuff that goes on with the kid, the forms, the pickups and the drop offs. The, you know, coordinating stuff for my son's graduation party, the buying everybody presents for their birthday parties and doing fun stuff with them. 

Like, it was my son's birthday last week, so I picked them, up early. We went to this little place by us that we love. We went to the beach for dinner. Just all the mental, like, kinkeeping work of, you know, kind of making their lives fun and making their lives seamless. 

And my life, you know, keeping, up, with my friends and, you know, trying to be a good friend and sister and all of those things are. Is, like, what I consider keeping everything afloat.

Rebecca: And you said that that makes you feel horrible. Why does it make you feel horrible?

Kaitlyn: It doesn't make me feel horrible to do all that stuff. It makes me feel horrible when I try to do that and work and, like, physically take care of myself, like, you know, exercise you know, well, like, all of that. 

Like, I feel like there's like, a triangle of, like, work, kids, and home stuff and, like, my own personal health. Like, I can only have two, right? 

And I know that I want to choose me being healthy and taking care of my kids and my family, saying, I'm not going to choose working right now.

Rebecca: Here's what's really, really important to see is that your brain thinks that if you change the circumstance, then you're going to feel better. 

And your horrible feeling has nothing to do with how much you're doing. 

It doesn't have to do with work. It doesn't have to do with the fact that you're the, you know, you're the default parent. 

It has to do with the way you're thinking about all those things, right? 

So it doesn't matter if you figure out how to do less. You'll still have the same crappy feeling thoughts unless you decide to change them. 

So knowing it's not the circumstance, what's the thought? What's the mindset? What's the perspective that you have that is making you feel horrible?

“Working is a big part of my worth.”

Kaitlyn: I think it's that if I don't work, that I am, like, giving up or that I like less than or that I like, that's a big part of my worth, is that I work and I'm a person who contributes to the world, in a working sense for money. I still think all the things that I do are work. Like, I don't. You know, all the good stuff isn't work. But I think that, that, like, I'm so fearful that, like, if I'm not doing that, then I'm just, like, not a serious person.

Rebecca: Totally. I'm not a serious person. Essentially, if I can't do it all, then I'm less than.

Kaitlyn: Yeah.

Rebecca: I'm not good enough.

Kaitlyn: Yeah.

Rebecca: So if that's what's behind these decisions right now, you could see how those thoughts are so interconnected with your identity. 

It makes perfect sense that you might have a moment where you can let some things go, but then your identity freaks out and. And you pick the balls back up again because that feels worse than the exhaustion of the balls. Right. And then we go back through this cycle again.

Yes.

Rebecca: So why is your brain thinking that if you can't do it all, then you're less than and you're not a serious person?

Kaitlyn: Probably, like, a million reasons. Probably like the way that I was raised and the way that a lot of women of my generation were raised, that, like, you can do everything. 

You can be an astronaut or you can be the president or you can, you know, you can do anything and you should. You know, you're smart, you're capable, you're able all these things. 

So if I choose not to do anything and everything, I feel like it's like I'm letting somebody down. some, like, existential force down. That, like, you know, that's the quality I've always had. Right.

Rebecca: Then what would you think about yourself if you're letting everybody down?

Kaitlyn: I don't know. I feel sort of like a, not like a joke, but sort of like a, Like a tired trope, you know? Like, oh, yeah, you were doing everything, and then you just couldn't. So now you're not, you know, like, now you're doing less than whatever, you know? 

Like, I think of, like, my mom, my mother in law. Like, they all stayed home and gave up careers. Like, especially my mother in law, like, gave up a career that she will talk about. Like, she left it yesterday and she left it 40 years ago. 

So, like, I think that those women, like, expect so much out of us. You know, my mom was always like, you have to have your own income. You have to, like. And she did it. S

o I feel like if I'm not working for money, even though my family doesn't need it, even though, you know, my family needs me to, like, be the glue right now, that I'm somehow letting them and myself down.

Rebecca: Yeah, you're now you're not a good enough daughter.

Kaitlyn: Right, exactly.

Rebecca: Let's add that into the mix.

Kaitlyn: Right?

Rebecca: And then what would happen if you're not really a good enough daughter and you were letting everyone down and you were less than.

Kaitlyn: I don't know. I mean, nothing would really happen, right? Like, nobody.

Rebecca: No, but your brain fears something. I know this is all super extreme. Totally extreme, right. But this is what your subconscious is thinking about. This is what. This is what's actually going. This is where the fear actually lies. It's the worst case scenario.

Kaitlyn: Right? I don't know. I just feel like. I fear that, like, judgment, and I also like that it leads into, like, okay, well, if you're not working well, then, like, are you, like, the mom of the year? Are you, like, baking the cupcakes and all the shit? I'm like, no, I'm also not doing that. I don't want to do that. Like, you know, I'm doing just enough.

Kaitlyn: I'm not doing that either. Right. 

Rebecca: Yeah. Almost always, it comes back to a uselessness.

Kaitlyn: Yeah.

Rebecca: Now, if you come. If you go back to a more primitive time, you know, if you couldn't do all the things and you couldn't contribute any longer and you were constantly letting people down, you didn't function within the tribe, in the community. Right. You didn't serve a function. And then what would happen?

Kaitlyn: Yeah.

Rebecca: Right. Like, you'd get ousted and you die. It was a literal survival mechanism that you remained useful to your tribe on some level. You were brought up within a certain way by your parents. Yes. We have lots of cultural directives and things that expectations placed on us, and we have a primitive brain that's afraid of our uselessness, which has a lot of survival connection to it. Right. you have all of these very, very fearful stories going on in your head. Not on a real conscious level, not on a much more subconscious level. 

Your brain is protecting you.

But it really isn't the, What's really also important to see in all this, that it's not the fear that's causing all of this. It is that your brain is protecting you from it. It's a protection mechanism from,

Kaitlyn: What, like, what am I. What is it protecting me from?

Rebecca: All of those things? It's protecting you from not being useful. It's protecting you from being a good. Not being a good daughter. It's protecting you from not letting people down. It's protecting you from having value and worth. It's protecting you from those things. 

Now, she might be a little overprotective at the moment, but regardless, she's protecting you. When you think about it, from that sense, what changes for you?

Kaitlyn: I think like, immediately it sort of makes me think of, like, myself at the playground with my kids. Like, where I'm like, no, no, no, be careful. And they're like, mom, chill. Right.

Like, especially now that they're older, right? And they're fine. And, like, now I realize, oh, now you're fine. But I had. They had to prove to me so many times that they were fine that before I could reach out, right. So I feel like it's sort of a, like, brain chill. Like, it's fine. We're gonna, It's fine. Like, we're gonna be fine. And I, That's my immediate reaction, right? It's like, yeah, exciting.

Rebecca: And it's also okay for you to be afraid for them.

Kaitlyn: Right? That's fair. Yeah.

It's okay for your kids to say, chill, mom. And it's okay for you to be afraid either externally to them or just internally. Either way, it's okay.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Rebecca: And another piece of it, though, is that you really don't want that protective part of you to go away. I mean, with your kids, one, it's never going to go away. We know that by maternal instinct. But you don't want it to go away.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Rebecca: And if you really got down to the bottom of it, your kids actually don't want it to go away either.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Rebecca: Because it serves a really important function when necessary.

Kaitlyn: Sometimes I do.

The protective part of our brains.

Rebecca: Totally necessary. At one, at two, at, whatever. Right, right. Necessary. This same. And I bring that up because it's the same thing here. We're actually not going to get rid of her, and we don't want to get rid of this protective part of your brain.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Rebecca: She serves a function. You want her to be extra loud in the midst of actual threat.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Rebecca: Which means if we're not getting rid of her, the only other option is to learn how to interact with her differently, is to have a different relationship with her. 

Not one where she is, you know, the dominant mothering voice mothering you and holding you back and making you feel terrible, and not the one where she is also silenced to the point where she doesn't have any value. 

If you think about this as being a parent child relationship, she's the child, and you're the parent now. So she's the child living in fear all of the time. She also can't think beyond fear. So she's the kid that is afraid of what's under the bed, and in the closet. 

And it really doesn't matter what you tell her. She's always, she's always going to be afraid. You could be the bestest parent with your child and get them to the point where they can calm down and you leave, and they're still going to be afraid of whatever's under the bed.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Rebecca: That's her. There isn't anything you can do to change her opinion. Her job is to be afraid and to be aware of all fear out there all of the time and to let you know of that fear just in case there was an actual threat. Right. That's her job. 

Your job is to decide if the threat is necessary or not. Do you need to remove the child from the bedroom because there is, in fact, an alligator under the bed, and that is a really scary situation. 

Or do you need to go close the door? Or do you need to do something right? Or is this just in their head and it's, like, going to be okay? And you know that as the parenthood, this is the nature of the relationship that we want to get to right now. They're like, one in the same. You've got, like, panicked, overprotective parent that can't see perspective and can't see straight at all at the moment, and she's just crazy.

Kaitlyn: That's fair. Yeah, that's right.

Rebecca: What do you think it would look like to interact with this protective voice in your head in a different way, in a more productive way?

Kaitlyn: Probably. Like, using that same analogy and just being like, like, I can think of it like if we go back to our playground thing, like, if you see a mom who's, like, freaking out, right? Like, sometimes I do see that and I'm like, it's okay. They're going to be fine. Like, don't worry. Like, you're fine. We got this. Like, I know it's scary, but, like, they're okay. We're gonna get it. Kids are great flavors, you know? Like, that's how she would calm down a little bit. 

But you're right. She's never gonna not be afraid. She's never gonna be like, okay, great. Cool. Let's go.

Rebecca: She might be able to dial it back in her head a little bit.

Kaitlyn: Yeah.

Rebecca: So it's not so front and center, but it's always gonna have a little bit of, like, a thing going on.

Kaitlyn: Right. And I think, like, I think what I like now, this is a very helpful analogy. The thing that I'm always, like, searching for is, like, the social proof, right? Like, we were like, oh, look, my kid didn't follow the playground today, but it's hard to constantly be, like, proving to the overprotective brain, like, that it's okay, that this is an okay decision. Like, that's, you know, she's never satisfied. Right.

Rebecca: And it's exhausting. And coming back to the nightmare thing, it really doesn't matter how many times you look under the bed, your kid is still gonna be scared.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Rebecca: It really doesn't matter. That's not the thing that's gonna calm them down.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Rebecca: It's not practical. She's not rational. Practical. That's not her job.

Kaitlyn: Yeah.

Rebecca: She's based in fear.

Kaitlyn: Got it. Yes. Okay. Yeah. That is very helpful. You're right that it's like, we're dealing with a not rational thought person in there.

Rebecca: Yeah.

Kaitlyn: That's the thing is, like, I. Like I said, intellectually, I know a, but I feel very b. And b is like, oh, I got, like, freaking out, you know?

Rebecca: Yeah. you have two parts of you going on at all times right now. You have the parent brain and the child brain talking to you at all times. 

The child brain very, very, very scared brain is really, really loud right now. Like, imagine her at full meltdown mode. No person in your household does not know that she's not melting down in the house. Everyone can hear her, nobody really can function otherwise. Like, it just is. Everybody's just waiting for it to pass. Right. She's been at that state for a long time.

Kaitlyn: Yeah.

Rebecca: There is no other voice of reason that could come in and, like, change anything at this point, because she's just been in loud meltdown mode forever.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Everything is going to be okay.

Rebecca: Here's one thing you said, though, that I think is a really good, important shift, because I have a feeling you've been skipping this. You. You said if there was another mom, there that was doing that, what would you do? You would tell them, I know it's really scary, and it's going to be okay. Yeah. 

You likely are not giving this protective voice any space. You're not telling her it's okay to be afraid and that this is really scary and we're doing something new and we're operating in a different way, and all of that brings a lot of fear. You're yelling at her. You're telling her she shouldn't be melting down. You're ignoring her. You are doing all of the things that you don't want to be as a parent to your kids when they're in the middle of a meltdown.

Kaitlyn: That's right.

Rebecca: And my hunch is, whenever you are that parents in the middle of a meltdown and doing all the things you don't want to be doing, it's not really effective. It makes the meltdown happen longer. It makes it worse. It makes it.

Kaitlyn: Nobody's happy about it. Like, everyone stops.

Rebecca: It's all bad.

Kaitlyn: Yeah.

Rebecca: So it hasn't been working because you haven't been actually giving it any space. But if you think about moments when your kid is melting down and you give it some space with some guardrails, of course, they can't just, like, pick up things and throw it around the house and so forth. Right. 

But, with some guardrails, but with some love, like, this is really hard, and you're having some really big feelings about this, and I know you're feeling x, y, or z. Makes total sense. I've been there, too. I remember what it's like to be that age. Whatever you say. Right. In these moments, that's. We. We want to get you to that place.

Kaitlyn: Right.

Giving space for the fears.

Rebecca: And that's scary because you're accepting the fear. But that's, sort of the point right now is that you're trying to mitigate all of those fears that come up. You're trying to ignore them. So now we actually want to give a little space for them so that they're heard and they can be moved past.

Kaitlyn: Right. And they can be thought of with some more perspective instead of throwing a tantrum every time.

Rebecca: Yeah. So I. There's a couple of things that, I want you to do to help with this, but it. It really does look like noticing, stopping and noticing when your protective voice is around, whether loudly or just quietly. Either way. When is she around? She probably feels very. You have a. She's a. You have a body experience with her. 

She feels like, a rapid chest. She feels like your heart, like, thumping out of you. She feels like a jittery, like, I can't not do things. She looks like you cleaning the house on a rampage. She looks like you frantically researching things on your phone. I don't know. You need to get in touch with what she looks like when she's around. That's the first step.

And then when you  start to recognize that she's there, that's the moment you stop, and you're. And you. And you go, oh, here you are. Hi. You're in the middle of a meltdown. I see you. Perfectly normal. This is a very normal time that you would show up. We're doing x, y, or z. You always show up when we're doing x, y, or z. Yes. We're just. We're in the middle of a big change right now. Totally makes sense why you're here.

And you're just stopping noticing, normalizing her existence. And then lastly, you're kind of giving her a little bit of voice. Anything that you. Anything you want to tell me today? Anything I should be extra scared of today? That is not what you haven't said before. Anything of note. I mean, she might have something interesting for you. 

It'll probably sound really absurd. It'll be like, well, the last time I looked under my bed, it was, you know, there was a lion. You're like, whoa, really? Okay, interesting. Well, let's hear about that. So you're literally having a conversation with yourself. It's going to take you. Stop pausing for a moment. I promise you, though, that pause. 

This is not going to be magical. I mean, it is magical on some level. This is gonna. This is gonna fix, if you will, 40. 40% of this, right. The other 60% has to be processed through, but that 40% is gonna feel infinitely different than where you're at right now. 

Stop swirling thoughts.

And the goal is to have a softening to her and then. And then an ability to, like, gain some perspective over what's going on in the moment so that you don't keep swirling and you, like, pivot yourself out of the swirl. 

If you haven't listened to the pivot, the pivot moment. podcast, definitely go back to that. That wasn't that long ago, a couple months ago, maybe, because that's really what we're talking about. We're pivoting out of a state of panic and into something else.

Kaitlyn: This is why I love talking to you, because I feel like I've been like, again, spinning my wheels on this. And I'm like, why is it not all gelling? But you're right. It's because I'm fighting against the art, essentially. Yeah. I'm taking notes. Thank you.

Rebecca: All right. All right, Kaitlyn, you got this. 

Kaitlyn: Thank you. Yeah.

Rebecca: You're welcome.

Rebecca Olson