Balance foundations: How to control your mental energy

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In this week's episode of the podcast, I'm tackling how to regain control over your energy as a busy working mom.

We all know how exhausting it can be to juggle everything, but today, I'm sharing 2 powerful tools to help you reclaim your mental and physical energy.

This is the last step in my 3 step process, if you're tired of feeling drained and overwhelmed, you won't want to miss this episode!

Topics in this episode: 

  • Acknowledging the challenges of summer's end and the back-to-school transition. 

  • The importance of controlling your mental and physical energy for better work-life balance. 

  • A daily 10-minute practice to start your day with positive energy. 

  • Steps for an effective work-to-home transition to disconnect and recharge. 

  • Understanding and managing mental exhaustion to prevent burnout. 

 Show Notes & References: 

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Transcript

Intro

It's not enough to just know what your priorities and your boundaries are. Just feeling clear really isn't enough. If you want to experience true work life balance, you need to learn how to follow through with those priorities and boundaries no matter what. 

I like to say, this is where the rubber hits the road. This is where you actually follow through with the things you say are most important to you. Where you actually put down your phone and are present. Where you don't log back on or stay available to your team at night. Where you protect your time and your energy so that life is not all about work. You need the tools to actually follow through and hold to your boundaries and your ideal schedule. 

Today on the podcast, I'm going to be sharing two necessary tools to control your energy so that you stop feeling exhausted and overwhelmed all the time and actually learn how to make following through easier. This is the last step in my three step process. You ready? Let's get to it. 

Welcome to the Ambitious and Balanced Working Moms Podcast, your go to resource for integrating your career ambitions with life as a mom. I'm distilling down thousands of coaching conversations I've had with working moms just like you, along with my own personal experience as a mom of two and sharing the most effective tools and strategies to help you quickly feel calm, confident, and in control of your ambitious working mom life. You ready? Let's get to it. 

Working moms, hello. 2 things before we get going on this episode today where we're going to continue to talk about a foundational principle of work life balance. 

The first thing is just a simple acknowledgement. I know that many of you have your kids that have already started back to school or about to start back to school. Or maybe you've been weeks into school just like me. Wherever you're at, I know that summer is coming to a close. The fall is starting, and I want to acknowledge how amazing you are. It does not matter how your summer went. Maybe your summer was perfect. It was blissful. It was exactly the way you wanted your summer to go. I love it. I'm so excited for you, if that's the case. 

Or you could be on the other side where summer did not go anywhere near the way that you wanted it to. It was not restful. It was hard. It was maybe the worst summer you've ever had. It doesn't really matter where your summer was at.

I want to acknowledge that you are an amazing, amazing working mom and that you are doing all things right by your kids no matter how the summer went. And that I just want to celebrate how amazing you are and remind you how amazing you are. 

Letting Go of Summer’s “Not Enough” Feeling

Because I know that the end of summer can have this sort of letdown feel—no matter how the summer went—it can bring a sense of not enoughness.

Maybe you didn’t do all the things you wanted to do. Maybe you didn’t get everything done on your to-do list. Maybe you didn’t do as many activities with your kids as you had hoped. And there’s this feeling that somehow it wasn’t enough.

I just want to squash that right here, right now. Let’s pause and acknowledge how amazing you are. You are an inspiration to so many, and your kids are really, really lucky to have you.

So that’s the first thing before we get going.

Exciting Announcement: A New Group Coaching Opportunity

The second thing I want to highlight is more like an announcement. I’m just so overjoyed to share this with you! This fall, I am launching a new group, and I’m looking for ten amazing women who no longer want work to be their number one priority.

These women want to learn how to put all the foundational principles and tools we’ve been talking about into practice. They want to actually learn how to do these things in a really short period of time. This group will be just a three-month coaching commitment, and you’ll be coached directly by me.

By the end of our time together, you’ll feel more calm, more in control of your life, and you’ll have all the tools you need to repeat and practice these strategies on your own. You’ll reorient your life so that you and your family get back to the top of your list.

But here’s the best part—you won’t have to sacrifice work. You won’t sacrifice success or productivity at work. Instead, we’ll focus on ending overworking, reducing the extra time you spend working, and freeing your mind from constantly thinking about work. This way, you’ll actually have the time, energy, and presence to be with your family.

I’ll be talking a lot more about this group in the coming weeks, but I just couldn’t wait to share it with you! We’ll officially start around October 1, and I’m looking for ten ladies to join me in this initial group.

If this sounds like something you’re interested in, I’d love to hear from you. I don’t even have links ready yet, so just send me an email at rebecca@rebeccaolsoncoaching.com if you’re interested in joining this first group.

Of course, stay tuned for more details in the upcoming weeks.

All right, so let’s dive in today and talk about the second part of control!

We've been in the middle of this series, discussing the foundational principles of work-life balance. We started the first week by talking about having a really clear understanding of what balance is—and what it’s not.

Introducing the Three C’s

From there, we moved into what is essentially my process. I call them the Three C’s.

The First C: Clarity

The first C is clarity. You have to be clear on what your priorities are and what matters most to you. Without clarity, your brain doesn’t have any direction on what it’s supposed to be prioritizing at any given time. Clarity is essential to creating balance in your life.

The Second C: Confidence

The second C is confidence. You need to believe in yourself, your amazingness, and how exceptional you are—regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Your confidence cannot depend on how much you got done today, whether you executed perfectly on your tasks, or whether you achieved everything you planned. Your brain needs to see that you are an amazing person, a wonderful mom, and a valuable employee so that you feel good about yourself, always.

The Third C: Control

The last C is control. Last week, we talked about controlling your time, which is really about controlling those priorities.

Control starts with knowing what your priorities are and what’s most important to you. It involves putting up boundaries around those priorities and learning how to overcome the feelings and emotional barriers that arise when you have to follow through with those boundaries and commitments.

That was control as we discussed it last week.

The Second Piece of Control: Energy

I told you there’s a second piece of control. The first part is controlling your time, which is all about controlling your priorities and boundaries. The second part of control is learning how to control your energy.

That’s what we’re going to talk about today—controlling your energy—because this is an essential part of creating a life that feels balanced.

Why Energy Matters for a Balanced Life

A balanced life is not one where you’re feeling exhausted and overwhelmed all the time. It’s a life where you have energy at the end of your workday to be present with your family.

It’s not just about putting the kids to bed and then vegging out, scrolling social media, or watching Netflix. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with those things, they shouldn’t be the only things you want to do after a long day.

For so many working moms, exhaustion and burnout leave them with only “leftover” energy, and that’s not what we want in the Ambitious and Balanced Working Mom community. You need to be in control of your energy to live a truly balanced life.

Today, we’ll dive into what it actually means to take control of your energy and how you can make it a reality.

Finding Control Over Your Mental Energy

I have a client that I’m working with right now, and she came to me saying, "I’ve got all the pieces of my life that I want. I have the job that I want. I have the family. I’m in a great marriage. I love my children. We have plenty of money. We own our house. I’m lacking for nothing, and yet I’m not happy."

That’s because there’s a lack of control—not over her time, because she’s actually using her time in all the ways she wants—but over her energy, particularly her mental energy.

Being a working mom and having kids is exhausting. That’s not something we can entirely change. You’re an ambitious person with big goals, good at what you do, and there are a lot of demands on you. That’s an exhausting life to live.

But mental exhaustion? That’s something completely different, and it’s not a part of a balanced life. You have to feel in control of your energy—what’s going on in your head and what’s happening inside your body.

At the End of Her Rope: A Client’s Story

I have a client who, when we started working together, was at the end of her rope. She felt completely burned out and wasn’t enjoying her career anymore. She was considering a career move, feeling undervalued, and unfulfilled by the work she was doing.

Even her usual activities, like playing golf and running—things that used to bring her joy—no longer felt fulfilling. She woke up every day dreading her day. It felt like a slog, watching the clock and just waiting for the end of the day.

That is not a balanced life.

Three Months Later: A Complete Transformation

Now, after three months of working together, everything has changed for her. She has received a promotion and is being asked to join more strategic conversations at work. She feels valued, life feels fuller, and her days have a sense of purpose.

She’s enjoying her new responsibilities, finding space to rest at the end of her workday, and even carving out time on the weekends to recharge. It’s been a complete shift for her.

Confidence: The Foundation of Change

One major part of this transformation was working on her confidence—one of the three C’s. She built an unshakable belief in herself, which allowed her to advocate for what she wanted and ultimately secure her promotion.

Her newfound confidence empowered her to speak up, ask for more, and create a professional life that feels meaningful and fulfilling.

Mastering Mental Energy: The Key to Balance

But the biggest change has been learning to control her mental load. When we started, her thoughts were “swirly”—a term I use with clients to describe the overwhelming swirl of disorganized, unchecked thoughts that can dominate your mind.

These swirly thoughts are often negative. Left on autopilot, they spiral throughout the day, compounding day after day, week after week, and month after month. This mental swirl takes a massive toll—mentally, emotionally, and even physically.

Over the course of our time together, she has learned how to take control of her mental energy. By managing her thoughts and directing her mental load, she has regained clarity, focus, and balance in her life.

Mastering the Pivot Process for In-the-Moment Control

Here’s how I want to break this down for you. Last week, we talked about controlling your time by handling the big feelings and emotions that pop up throughout your day as you try to follow through with your boundaries and priorities. I walked you through a six-step pivot process, which I call the pivot moment. It’s a tool I teach all of my clients.

When you truly master this process, it allows you to ride the waves of those big emotions with ease and effectiveness. It happens quickly, enabling you to follow through with your priorities and commitments for the day.

This tool is what I call an in-the-moment strategy. It’s something you use when you realize you’re compromising on your boundaries or priorities—when you’re logging on when you don’t want to, thinking about work when you’d rather not, or failing to be as present as you’d like. It’s an incredibly effective way to regain control in the moment, and I help my clients master it.

Preemptive Tools to Prevent Mental Exhaustion

While the pivot process is great for managing those moments, there are also preemptive tools—strategies that help you avoid the swirl of overwhelm, exhaustion, or mental spin before it happens.

These tools work to prevent you from compromising your boundaries as often. They help you stay ahead of the mental spin that so many working moms experience, which often leads to mental exhaustion.

Today, I’ll introduce you to two of these preemptive tools that can help you regain control and prevent that mental spiral before it even begins.

Sneak Peek Into the Fall Group

And now, just to give you a little sneak peek into the group that I’m launching this fall: over the course of our three months together, you’re going to learn how to perfect the six-step pivot process I spoke about last week. You’ll also master the two tools I’m going to teach you right here, right now.

These tools will help you stay on track, feel less exhausted and overwhelmed, and truly take back control of your time, energy, and thoughts—where those energy leaks and mental exhaustion often stem from.

Morning and Evening Tools to Create an Intentional Day

There are two key tools I want to teach you: a morning tool and an evening tool. Ideally, you’d use the morning tool right at the beginning of your workday. It helps set an intentional and positive energy for the day ahead.

The evening tool, on the other hand, is designed to help you close out your day, shutting down your “work brain” so you don’t carry your work energy and thoughts into your home life at the end of the day. While it might not always fit perfectly into your schedule, these practices are powerful strategies to regain control and balance.

The Daily Work: A 10-Minute Morning Practice

So this first tool that I want to talk about, I call it the daily work. I've talked about it right here on the podcast before. This is a ten minute exercise where you bring intention or positive intention into the beginning of your day. It's also a six step process. The pivot process was six steps. This is six steps. I don't know why I have a thing about six step processes, but this is a six step daily process.

It's meant to be no more than ten minutes. I don't want this to feel overwhelming. I don't want it to take a bunch of time. It's not meant for that. But the goal of the time is for you to really think about how amazing and wonderful you are and to come up with a plan for any part of your day where you might forget how amazing and wonderful you are. Right.

Sometimes I have my clients focus on the same sort of positive or affirming thought every day for a whole week or a couple of weeks at a time. Or sometimes I have them switch it up throughout each day, and they start cultivating or creating a whole toolkit of really positive things that they can think about themselves at the beginning of each of their day.

Starting Your Day with Affirmation

Because I want you to imagine going to work today and starting your day with the energy, with the thought, I am enough. I am doing enough. I am good enough. I'm amazing at what I do. I'm an amazing mom. I deserve to be here. I love my life. I'm living the exact life I've always wanted to live.

Imagine you starting every single day with that level of energy, with that level of positivity about you and your day. Take a moment. Think about how different your entire day would be if you practiced cultivating those types of positive thoughts every single day.

Can you imagine it? Can you imagine the calmness? My whole body just kind of, like, my shoulders went down as I said those words, I am enough. I'm good enough. I'm doing enough. I'm amazing. I'm living the most amazing life. I'm so good at what I do. My whole body sort of, like, relaxes, my shoulders relax. I feel grounded. I feel calm by those thoughts.

That is going to set your whole day up for success in a way that I know for so many working moms is the complete opposite of what they experience every day.

The Default Thoughts That Hold You Back

Most of my clients, when we start working together, begin their workday with default thoughts like:

  • I’m not doing enough.

  • There’s not enough time to get through what I want to get done.

  • I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

  • This is really hard.

  • There’s too much to do.

  • I’m so busy.

  • I’m not prepared enough.

These thoughts, for so many of you, become the starting point for your day. And, of course, those thoughts just spiral. My heart starts to race just thinking about them. They build on each other, creating this overwhelming feeling of not enoughness.

When you start your day feeling not enough, you’re going to cultivate more of that exhausted, defeated feeling throughout your day. That’s why the first practice I teach my clients, The Daily Work, is so important—it helps you start your day with intention and get ahead of those swirly, negative thoughts.

The Most Crucial Moment for Balance

The second practice I teach is called the Work-to-Home Transition.

I’ve talked about this before because, after seven years of coaching hundreds of busy, ambitious working moms, I’ve found that balance boils down to three simple beliefs. No matter the circumstances, you need to believe these if you want to create a life that feels balanced:

  1. I am enough.

  2. I am good enough.

  3. I am doing enough.

The most crucial time to cultivate these beliefs is when you’re transitioning from work to home.

If you really want to shut down your work brain, stick to your boundaries, stop work at the time you planned, avoid logging back on, and fully enjoy your life outside of work, this is the moment. Cultivating these thoughts—I am enough. I am good enough. I am doing enough—is essential for being present with your family and embracing life outside of work.

That's the enough triad, as I teach it is at the end of your work day, that transition from work to home, we want your brain focusing on those three thoughts and cultivating those three thoughts so that you walk away from work and you can actually shut down and let work go. If you are believing those three thoughts right there in that crucial moment, you are infinitely more likely to not log back on. And when you do think about logging back on or you do think about work, you're able to sort of shut it down on demand, if you will. Sometimes I like to say it like that, kind of shut down your work brain on demand, which is, what we all want in order to have a more balanced life. 

Celebrating my Clients Win

Last week, I shared the story of a client who gained back 5 to 7 hours in her work week—every single week. We’ve been working together for almost six months, and she has consistently reclaimed this time while still being productive and effective at work.

Not long ago, we were talking about this accomplishment and celebrating how much extra time she had gained. I asked her what she thought had made the biggest difference. Without hesitation, she said:

"I get to the end of my workday, and I believe I have done enough for the day."

She explained that she no longer feels that nagging need to prove herself or get back to everyone immediately. Of course, there are still things left to do, but her thoughts have shifted to something far more empowering:

  • I did enough today.

  • The work I did was good and valuable.

  • I am an asset to my company.

Transforming Thoughts to Reclaim Time

This was a stark contrast to where she was six months ago. Back then, her thoughts sounded more like:

  • I’m not getting enough done.

  • There’s so much more to do.

  • People are waiting on me.

  • I’m not good at what I do.

Over the course of our work together, she cultivated three powerful beliefs that transformed how she approached her workday. These new beliefs allowed her to end her day feeling confident and satisfied.

The key tool she used to create this shift was her Work-to-Home Transition. By intentionally shifting her mindset at the end of her workday, she broke free from those exhausting, negative thoughts and started reclaiming her time—and her mental energy.

The Four-Part Work-to-Home Transition

So now I've actually walked you through this transition before on the podcast. So I'm going to be brief in how I talk about it here, and then I'll link to the episode where I really walked you through it in depth.

But the transition has four parts. It has you wrapping up all of the little details and tasks that take two minutes or less. It has you organizing your day for tomorrow so that you know exactly what your priorities are tomorrow and what you want to get done tomorrow.

It has you thinking through any sort of lingering emotions or thoughts throughout the day. Maybe there were hard situations or hard conversations or conflicts—things like that—that need to be processed so you don't take those heavy emotions home with you at the end of your workday and into your family life. So you take time to actually just process and let those emotions go.

And then the last piece of it, the fourth piece of it, is focusing on progress and celebrating all the things that you did and achieved throughout the day. Instead of focusing—like our brain always likes to focus on—it likes to focus on the things we didn’t get done today, right?

So four parts to that transition: wrapping up today, focusing on tomorrow, processing any lingering feelings, and focusing on progress.

Mastering the Final Step: Control

My clients get a really clear breakdown, including a workbook, to help them create their own transition tailored to their needs. Together, we walk through how to integrate this into their daily rhythms so they have a morning practice to start their day in a positive headspace and a late afternoon practice to close down their workday. This helps them focus on the positive things that happened during the day.

If we zoom out, this step represents the third C: Control—following Clarity and Confidence. This is where the rubber hits the road. It’s about actually implementing boundaries and priorities while redirecting your mind to be more positive, focusing on your enoughness, your value, and your progress. This shift prevents you from feeling exhausted all the time.

The Three Essential Practices for Control

  1. The Daily Work
    This morning practice helps you cultivate a positive mindset at the start of your day.

  2. The Work-to-Home Transition
    At the end of your workday, spend about 15 minutes focusing on what you’ve accomplished and what you want to achieve tomorrow. This practice helps you feel proud of your work and ready to close out the day.

  3. The Pivot Process
    This tool is essential whenever you find yourself compromising on your boundaries or priorities. Whether it’s saying yes to something you shouldn’t, logging back on when you don’t want to, or checking emails when you’re supposed to be present with your family, the pivot process helps you get back on track.

If you want to master these three tools, this is where real control happens. This is how you take back control of your time and energy.

So you wake up every day, just like my client, feeling really good about the work you’re doing. Energized, valuable at work. Feeling like this is exactly the life you’ve created.

You actually look forward to getting up, doing the work you love, and feel like you have control over your time and your energy. You’re not just go, go, going all the time. Instead, you feel satisfied in your work, good about what you contribute, and confident in your value.

Learn to Take Control of Your Life This Fall

If you want to master these three tools—taking back control of your time, energy, and priorities—so that you wake up every day feeling like this is the life you’ve intentionally created, this group is for you.

This is where you experience the joy and happiness of the life you’re building. You feel energized by your work, valuable in your career, and present at home. You’ll have all the tools necessary to get yourself back on track anytime life throws you off course.

If that’s the life you want to create for yourself, with this level of control and fulfillment, I’m telling you: this group launching in the fall is going to be for you.

Take Back Control of Your Time, Schedule, and Energy

We are going to be hyper-focused for three months on mastering these three tools—taking back control of your time, schedule, and energy—so that you and your family come first without sacrificing your success or productivity at work.

I am looking for ten amazing working moms to join me at a fraction of the cost of one-on-one coaching. I’m so excited about it that I don’t even have a link for you to sign up yet!

If you’re interested in being one of those ten, and you want more details or want to talk to me personally about the group, let’s make sure this is exactly the right fit and investment for you. Please send me an email at rebecca@rebeccaolsoncoaching.com. We’ll start a dialogue about all the details, and I’ll eventually send you the link to sign up.

You Have the Tools to Create a Balanced Life

Working moms, take back control. Control your time. Control your energy. This is what it’s all about—creating a life that feels balanced.

You can do it. You now know about the three essential tools, and you know what you need to do to achieve the level of control you want. It’s the third C of the process.

Please reach out if you want more information about the group or want to be one of the first ten ladies to join.

Till next week, working moms, let’s get to it.

Rebecca Olson