Yesterday, I sent my kids (3 and 5 years old) off to childcare for the first time in 106 days (yes, that is how long California has been in shelter-in-place). Even though it is the best thing for them (and us) the transition has still come with intense emotions.
As adults we don't know how to transition well.
Kids...they simply throw a tantrum. Transitioning out the door, out of the car, into bedtime, out of the bath...many times it comes with resistance and tears because transitions are hard and kids don't like them.
Turns out, we as adults don't like them either...we just learn how to push through it, rather than flail ourselves on the floor and scream at the top of our lungs (though, there is no shame in that either).
We need space to transition.
We need space for our brain to move from one thing to the next.
Whether that is home to work, work to home, asleep to awake or with kids to apart from kids….these are all transitions and my guess is, they are the hardest times of your day.
When you can anticipate a transition and make space for it you feel immensely more in control of these moments and don’t feel so sluggish and irritable when they happen. You can actually move into the next thing with clarity and energy.
So, in an effort to help my brain and my heart transition in this moment, as I send my kids off to childcare, I wrote my family a letter and cried (a lot). (If you want to read the letter click here).
I planned for this. I knew it was going to be hard to drop my kids off, so I gave myself time to feel and process immediately following. I didn’t just jump into work, I didn’t just jump into a task. I allowed myself to experience the sadness.
In the end, it was cathartic. I got it all out in the span of 2 hours and then it was done. I felt lighter, happier, more energized and ready to take on the next thing. The feelings and thoughts didn’t linger with me, they didn’t weigh me down, they were gone!
That is the power of giving yourself space to transition.
With everything happening in our world, our country, our communities and our homes, I encourage you to find a way to transition too.
Give yourself space to think and feel, even if it’s just 5 minutes. Trust me, you’ll feel better.
