In last week’s podcast I shared the story of when I first started visiting daycares, looking for a good place to send my daughter.
The entire search I felt like I was failing her as a mom.
“Someone else isn’t supposed to raise my kid!” I cried.
I was sure that the daycare could never provide the love and care that I could as her mom.
Fueled with these negative thoughts about what I was doing to my child, I returned from maternity leave and hated it (even though I previously had LOVED my job).
I cried all the way to work. Raced home to pick up my daughter.
Sat absently doing my job, my heart and thoughts always circling to my baby.
I was not at the top of my game.
But it was only because I was thinking about how terrible a mom I was because I was working.
I was thinking about how my daughter was sacrificing on my behalf.
I was thinking that this isn’t the way it should be.
🔥 6 months later everything changed 🔥
One day my daughter made the sound of a cow (or something like that). I asked my husband, “Have you been practicing animal sounds with Lillian?”
“No”, he replied.
And then it dawned on me… her daycare was doing things with my child that I would have never imagined she could have done at her age. They knew more than I did about early childhood development and were giving her experiences that I couldn’t.
And in an instant my thoughts changed about her in daycare and the kind of mom I was because I was sending her there.
I could see how much she gained because she was NOT with me.
I could see how much I gained because I was not with her all day.
We were both winning, I just hadn’t decided to see it that way, until then.
There is no question, I am a better mom because I work.
And I believe the same about you.
You are a better mom because you work and because working is something that makes you a better human (you find purpose and energy in it, you like the impact you are making, it’s meaningful, you get to use your education & experience, you enjoy the hard work, adult conversation & challenge).
And when you are a better human – focusing on the things that make you happy – you will always be a better mom.
I believe it, do you?
